On the eve of the new Premier League and more importantly another FPL season, I thought it would be a good time to gauge how we all ‘claim’ to play the game. Thanks to all those who participated with the survey.

Question 1, was our equivalent of your first AA meeting where the first step to recovery is admitting you’ve got an issue.

‘On average, how many hours in a typical day do you spend looking at your team or researching FPL based news?’

Anyone saying they’ve only read up, tinkered with their team and discussed it for 0-1 hours this week is either a liar or literally living the Will Ferrell gif of ‘Amateur Hour’.

In a normal week, 62% of us claim to read 0-1 hrs around the subject, probably not including the FFUK chat on the socials. With 13% researching and tinkering over 2 hours, is it possible to over read and analyse something truly not in our control? Of course not! ‘Fail to prepare, prepare to fail!’!

As Arsene Wenger once said, ‘Everyone thinks they have the prettiest wife at home’. Before you all write to me asking me to explain my comments like Sir Alex did, I’ll explain. The deadline klaxon has gone off and your team is locked in. You’re pretty happy with that line up, solid captain choice and your bench is perfectly arranged. And then twitter royalty Rockstar drops a bombshell that ‘All owners of X Y and Z probably need to take a walk’… ‘WTF does that even mean?! Are they in’, ‘FFUK why did I listen to the advice of someone I’ve never met who’s behind me in the league!!’

That my friends is the pre kick off anxiety of actually caring! So how did we do in the next question..

‘Rate your pre kick off anxiety 1-10?’

18% at fairly chilled out 4/10, meanwhile 33% of us are biting finger nails at 6 and 7/10. Shout to the 8% who are suffering from previous nightmare GWs and are constantly stuck at 11/10. We’ve all been there!

In a normal GW, what’s a solid score? On a normal GW (no doubles), a score you need to feel satisfied, regardless of miracles some of your peers who triple captained the Norwich CB who scored and got a CS.

So what’s your ‘par for the course’

60-65 came in as the 42% solid choice.

Our reigning Champion Mr Chris Galloway, who finished a stunning 414th in the whole FFUKING game, scored 2577 point over 38GWs, an average of 67.82 points per week. So, 22% of us are setting our bar at the Champion range.

Meanwhile, 2% only want 80points or over. You have to admire that ambition!!

What is your ONE FPL rule??

I really enjoyed reading the variety of answers to this question. From thoughts on captaincy, reading form vs fixtures; lack of love for El Carlos Kickaball and something about John Terry I don’t really get! Instead of analysing this one, I’ve listed all the answers!!

  • Remember to click and activate your chip!!
  • Be patient. Stick with your team for a while
  • No hits (if possible!) or have a very good reason to take one.
  • Be decisive
  • Attack is everything!!
  • save triple captaincy til after Xmas
  • Avoid the double up from the same teams
  • Gamble on a crazy captain pick
  • Play it safe!
  • Go with your gut
  • Adapt
  • Where’s John Terry when you need him? / Don’t pick JT
  • Plan ahead
  • Avoid captains in big 6 fixtures
  • Captain choice is vital / Make Salah Captain / Get the captain pick right every week
  • Don’t spend too much time looking at other teams
  • Use your free transfer every week.
  • Ensure you know the next transfer deadline
  • If in doubt, don’t change anything
  • Don’t pick cheats (divers), I’d rather lose.
  • Be Brave
  • Don’t captain anyone playing the early kick off
  • No Man Utd players
  • Research EVERY week         
  • Only pick nailed on players
  • Never show your team before deadline 🤣 but watch everyone else’s

Let’s see how much of our own advice we actually stick too!

Here’s an interesting one

‘Does your team supporting bias impact your FPL selection?’

Now this one is subjective and can be interpreted in different ways. I’m an Arsenal fan (someone has to be), and now they’re not that shit anymore, I’ll pick Spurs players. But would I captain Kane against Arsenal, even though I’ve seen him score his customary penalty in person so many times? No, probably not.

I think there is still an unconscious bias toward your team and against your rivals but only 32% openly admit it!

‘When do you make your bold & brave GW transfers?

Press the trigger as soon as they signal for the bench? Wait for the manager to confirm ‘it looks a bad one’? Wait till all the fixtures have been played in case there are bigger fires to put out? Or wait until deadline day so you can make a fully informed decision.

Ideally, we’d all do the latter but prices changes either way can really scupper your game plan. If Player A get injured and drops in price by £0.1m, while the ready-made form replacement increases in price by 0.1m overnight, you instantly regret not committing to your plan. Alternatively, an early transfer can mean you fall for the ‘pronounced dead on the scene’ to being seen on the team coach the following weekend. (See Son at Old Trafford last season!)

The results on this were fairly spread. 30% go early and beat the price change, 25% wait until all fixtures have been played before the deadline, while 28% keep their powder dry until deadline day.

The dreaded captain’s arm band can be the make or break of the weekend. Are you brave enough to Captain the early fixture, do you follow the crowd or is this the weekend your balls are the size of bowling balls and you captain a defender???!

‘What’s the minimum your captain needs to score before it’s deemed a #CaptainFail?’

Some what surprisingly, 30% of us are happy with a 6 point haul, while at 50% of us would look for 8 or 10 points.

The question itself, I’ve since realised, is quite ambiguous as it doesn’t state if those points have been doubled or not!!

The rotation of keepers is tactic that risks a higher outlay for potential maximum point game by playing the fixtures. Alternatively, you pick a keeper and odds are he rarely changes.

So, what’s your goalkeeper policy?

A solid 65% like to Set and Forget, while 35% of us enjoy seconding guessing the fixtures and risk having the keeper who got a surprise CS and 3 bpts on the bench!

The premium players are the ones who usually make or break weekends. The premium players usually get the captains armband so unsurprisingly are the big scorers. Who is your premium priced go to player?

King Salah leads this one by far, taking a whopping 62.5% of the vote, perennial runner up, Kane comes in with 12.5%. The words ‘Never Sell Salah’ came back to haunt a few last year and once again, he’s ready to be the fans top pick.

Would you recommend FFUK to your friends and family?

A solid 90% got this one correct while 10% of you are already reaching for the Rennie as that pre-season anxiety starts to build!

I thought I’d do something different my first ever FFUK article, it’s been a great receive all your responses, so thank you.

Watch this space for another survey in a few months, where a few GW scars (and victories) will still be very raw!!

All the best!  


One thought on “AND OUR SURVEY SAYS….! ❌

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