GW12 REVIEW – Blinding LIGHTS

WELCOME TO THE GW12 REVIEW – BLINDING FFUKing LIGHTS……

We woke on post IB day Friday rubbing our eyes, what had we witnessed, we had been Blinded by a ‘world class’ Harry Kane, scoring about 17 goals against the super powers and might that is San Marino & Albania!!! FPL was back. Thank FFUK.

Shortly after the dust had settled on #WORLDCLASSHARRY the rumour mill inevitably followed. FFUKers everywhere blinded by a million messages. #Standard

Pickford (yes Justin he does have wee arms!) was linked with Spurs and Bakes outlandishly claimed he was #WORLDCLASS. Bakes must have been blinded by hallucinogenics, or still celebrating the closure of IB in a field somewhere all alone!

We debated Chris’ team name in anticipation of Jason Steele stepping up to cover for Dirty Sanchez. ‘Steele eyed man’ or ‘Blue Steele’ maybe? His chosen option ‘Men of Steele’ had been judged inappropriate, a metaphorical yellow for Galloway, clearly lacking ‘Steele’ in negotiating his team name!……. or was @Stu up to his old tricks again, blinding work if so old bean!

We (or maybe just me!) were well and truly blinded by Vardy’s upcoming fixture list! All aboard!

The pressers were tee’d up and ffukers were moist, it was impacting eyesight everywhere, fog like visibility, blinding!

Tuchel confirmed Rom was another week away and Klopp was being called for the sack, such was the comparable form of Arteta. Once again blinded by statistics, surely Arteta was not already heading up the M1/M6 without his squad

Kevin ‘Covid’ De Bruyne so close to Christmas has to stay home alone for 10 days, watch out for the burglars Kev!

Jack won’t make it and Foden was a doubt, a nightmare for some with typical Man City ownership consequences.

Blakey let the secret out of the bag on Salah’s stats against the Arse, Harvey left in a blind rage, concerned now others would flip their captains pick away from #Kane or #CR7 – Don’t be blinded by stupidity Harv!

KINGS OF GW12

A back 5 again. Maybe we’re all blinded by Roni’s 5 full backs?!

And so to the action…..

The early kick off reminded us all that Chilwell (9) & James (12) are almost must haves. Rudiger (14) outscored both this week (Daron leaving this STUD on his bench, 3 times in 4 weeks the blind leading the blind with first X1 selection headaches) though and of course Jamie ‘FFUKing’ Vardy did nowt again. 56 points in the 1st 8 GWs. 6 points in 4 GWs since I transferred him in!!! Who’s not bitter, stick your Party up your arse Jamie……

Slippy G took charge of his 1st Villa game since his defection from Rangers. Not bitter about that either! Mings (15) & Watkins (8) upstaged the much talked about Man of Steele.

An absolute belter of a game between Burnley and Palace (said no-one ever before) Mee Wood and Cornet on the scoresheet for Burnley and only 1 assist for Gallagher (5) which is all we cared about.

Same scoreline at St James where ASM (10) picked up an FPL Full House of goal, assist, bps and a yellow card.

At Carrow Road, it was all Dean Smiths fault again as Norwich picked up another win. Pukki (8) Party anyone?!

In the black country, it was all about Jimi (8) again. 43 points since I transferred him out in GW6. Maybe this review should’ve been called Bitter?

The final 3 o’clock saw the mighty Manchester United (Oles at the wheel and all that) take on little old Watford. What can I say that hasn’t already? Maguire (-3) is shite. Ronaldo (5) did not mean to square that to VDB (7) and Dennis scored 14 ffuking points. Blinding!

The late kick off was all about Salah (8) captained by only 68% of FFUKers this week & Trent (15) who are the top 2 points scorers in FPL. Yet still we debate whether TAA  is a premium defender or a 6th midfielder? Or in fact #essential

Yesterdays games were all about 2 things, that ball by Cancelo (12) (not bitter about putting Dias (0) in instead) and Mr World Class, himself.

Many a FFuker was blinded by Harry Kane (2) this week. 29 handed him the armband and 1 poor FFUKer even triple captained him, my thoughts are with you Stuart Loader!!! Blinding Captain Fail.

FFUK League Top 20

Still the Cork Mafia sitting pretty in 1st. Kevin’s 5 full backs of James, Chilwell, TAA, Cancelo and Livramento is what we’re all being blinded by!

A couple of 91’s in the top 20 this week from James Simpson and Roni Friel. Very similar back 5s.

However, the top scoring FFUker this week was Andy Heath on 99 points, up from 141st  to 93rd and he didn’t even captain Mo. Unsurprisingly Andy had Cancelo, Trent, James and Dennis. Throw in captain Ronaldo, Jota, Toney, Chalobah and Martinez. That yellow card for Dennis costing Andy a spot in the 100 club.

And finally……….

The conts, 2 to go this week.

I really wish I was writing this and Mark ‘Leafy’ Leathem who made his 1st appearance in the pub in 2 years on Friday had been evicted.

Alas no, Leafy escaped by 4 points and the axe this week falls on Rackers and Harry Gill. 50 & 53 points scored respectively!

That’s about enough from me. Don’t want you getting FFUking Blinded!!!

Tim aka Snow Patrol

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