The new season is nigh, players prices released, and the game is fully reloaded…’AND IT’S LIVE’!
Before we all get lose our summers stuck behind green squad screens and over-analysing friendly games in the arse-end of nowhere, lets take a step back and take stock of the highs and lows of last season.
It’s time for the FFUK awards!
FFUK Player of the Season:
After a close-run vote, and very much in line with the overall point scores of 21/22, the Egyptian King, Salah, took the title from HM Son. The overall points didn’t lie for the FFUK massive, with Salah scoring 265 to Son’s 258. The pair even shared the Premier League Golden Boot last season, with 23 goals each.
A very respectful 3rd place finish in our vote when to Jarred Bowen, the overall games 4th highest scorer (with TAA sitting proudly in 3rd). In what felt like Bowen’s announcement season to the FPL owners, he was the games highest assister with a whopping 17 assists, with Salah 2nd on 14.
Here are the thoughts of our Harvey Smith
Player of the year, could there really be any other choice?! Salah averaged 7pts per game and gave a return of 20 points per million despite starting as the most expensive player in the game. Pretty much all the way through the game Salah was Mr reliable, consistently performing game after game. Even in his so called slump he averaged nearly 5 points per game. Many other mere mortals would aspire to that when on form. He also rewards his loyal followers, when I put the triple captain on him for an 84 point haul it was pretty much expected – (that’s how you reward those followers Dennis)
Salah is the fantasy new born king and if you wish to end his reign you need to score big and often. We go again
FFUK Villain of the Season:
Where there are heroes, there are also villains and we do love a scapegoat looking villain at FFUK towers.
Taking a whopping 57% of the vote (and rightly so I say!) was that menace and who left us with plenty of Hornet stings…. Emmanuel Dennis. Priced under £6m, Dennis quickly went from bench fodder to first choice striker for many FFUK punters. And oh how we were burnt.
Here’s Pete Cronin’s account on Dennis:
Everyone picked up THE bargain of the season? Dennis was nominated for Premier League Player of the Month back in November 2021.I owned him from the start, cheap and nailed on, I had about 1m in value in him from early on. The problem was, despite holding him for all his double gameweeks, he only scored 2 premier league goals in 2022. I kept him the entire season. Next week, next week he has to nick a goal right? No. An absolute waste of a player, I fear for any team that brings him in.Peter Cronin
Notable mentions for Lukaku, the £100m saviour who was brought in to take Chelsea from being reigning European Champions back to the Premier League summit… well, that didn’t go to plan. Lukaku was simply a flop. A notable lowlight was his 7 touches of a ball in 90mins versus Palace.
Here’s our Chelsea correspondent, Chris Galloway’s take on the fallen saviour:
I didnt actually own Lukaku last season but after his early performances vs arsenal and villa I was tempted and I wasn’t alone, over 1.5m managers transferred him in between gw2 and gw5… However after gw4 he didn’t score again until gw19 and it didn’t improve after that with a particular low point being his 7 touches in a whole game vs Palace in gw26. Pathetic and inexcusable. 8 goals and 1 assist all season only tells half the story and Lukaku goes down in history as one of the worst ever Premier League signings. I can safely say I will never own him in FPL and I hope I don’t have to see him in a Chelsea shirt ever again!Chris Galloway
There, there. Dry your eyes Chris.
Bargain of the season:
It’s a deal. It’s a steal. It’s sale of the f***ing century!… FPL Managers love finding one thing, a gem of a bargain player.
While maybe not as cheap as previous bargains or incorrectly positioned, there was one clear winner… Jarred Bowen!
Starting at £6.5m, ending at £6.9m, Bowen was the definition of a differential pick for many for the first half of the season. Averaging 5.7 points per game with 12 goals and 17 assists, he ended the season as an elite pick.
Our own James Simpson agreed;
Fourth highest scorer overall, above the likes of KDB and Kane. Most assists in the whole game, and only 10 players scored more goals than him. Nine double figure hauls. He was pretty much essential at that price (£6.3 when most people jumped on).
FFUK Moment of the Season:
I must admit this was a confusing and very subjective category. Was it a highlight moment? Or a laughable low point moment? But as with all things FPL, the highs very much go with the lows!
With our more positive heads on, the winner of the vote was Salah’s GW26 28 pointer, where many had entrusted him with the Triple Captaincy.
Damien O’Neill recalls his playing roulette with Salah and the TC chip:
As someone who got caught up in the excitement of the late announcement of a bumper DGW, I made the call to pull the triple C off Mo and play my Wildcard. Wolves hadn’t conceded a goal in 3 years, I needed double their defence right? Plus, how many would Salah really score? Klopp would give him a rest once the result was in the bag surely? It turns out Wolves forgetting how to defend coincided with their double double. Double trouble more like! I did eventually give Mo the triple C – for his last DGW. The one where he went off injured and came on for a 1 pointer against Arsenal. It’s a lot of fun to go against the grain as when it works out the rank rise is far greater due to effective ownership however when the game gives you a gift (NOR followed by LEE) you take it and back it to the hilt
While Steve Cronin REALLY enjoyed KDB’s magical night of 4 goals;
After an average 1st game of the DGW, expectations weren’t too high but with Salah on 3 points anything would be upside. Never have I enjoyed a game more from an FPL perspective, KDB scoring early doors in the 7th min and hat trick by 24 mins. Dreamland. Then the 4th went in and the day officially became the best of my life.
Never going FFUKING to own again:
When the deadline klaxon goes off, we’re all pretty confident we’ve got the best team around. You’ve nailed it this week, this is the one! But then some familiar faces let you down, again!
It’s the hope that kills you but it’s also owning misfiring assets!
Unsurprisingly Dennis romps home to take this one, with Lukaku in 2nd.
Duncan Hannigan, a sufferer of Dennis PTSD ownership recalls:
GW23! What a time to be alive! An impressive Dennis has a DGW! First game of the GW against Norwich at home who were leaking goals for fun and then against a Burnley team who had lost their way under The Ginger Moutinho! Armband on! Wait for the green arrows on a Friday night! Alas it seems I put the Armband on Dennis Pennis by mistake! Two yellows resulting Red card -2 from the captain and banned for the other game in the DGW! GW Ruined! His punishment was to be banished to the bench for 3 weeks whilst I fixed other problems! His response 11 pts away at Villa in GW26! Do One Dennis!
Unsung heroes take up the role of differentials in the world of FPL. Get in there early, get in there first and you’re scoring valuable points many of your closest rival’s wont. (Unless you owned Dennis, then please read above!!)
By the end of the season, Robertson’s ownership versus points per week made him more valuable then his counterpart TAA. Of course, Mr Bowen has a place as a nominee, 2nd place in this category.
Damien O’Neill enjoyed his differential pick;
I brought the legendary Scot into my team in the previously mentioned WC for DGW26 for Marcus Aurelius Alonso. In proper Jurgen trolling he didn’t even play in the first of that DGW fixtures V Norwich but once he got going I never looked back, picking up an average of 6.2 pts per GW.
Now time for your FFUK positions of the season.
Your FFUKing goalkeeper of the year was…
135 points from a starting cost of £4.5m, and 12 clean sheets from 34 starts. 2nd place to Allison on bonus points too. Starting as number 2, Ramsdale repaid the faith many showed in him.
Your FFUKing defender of the year was…
From a starting cost of £6.0m, ending at £7.2m, the Portuguese superstar was a must have for almost all by the end of the season. Finishing 2nd to TAA in overall points and assists, Cancelo’s price allowed him to be a premium enabler for other luxurious assets.
Your FFUKing midfielder of the year was…
Son! (but just!)
Son couldn’t nick the golden boot from Salah but with the actual last vote in this category, took home the prestigious FFUK midfielder of the year award. Son impressed this season with several tidy haul’s, outscoring his BFF Kane on almost all categories, well apart from trophies won. They’re both tied at 0.
However, James Downie decided not to own peak Son;
Son FFUKing killed me this season. I had him quite early when he wasn’t really doing much, Then got rid of him because I needed the cash. I chose to go with Kane. I really wanted to go back to Son but felt I couldn’t because the people that I wanted to catch in FFUK all had him!James Downie
Snooze you, you lose JD.
Your FFUKing Forward of the year was…
While the debate rages on about his World Class status, Harry Kane was our forward of the season. After 11 blanks in 12 GWs at the beginning of the season, it’s a miracle that Kane was even in this category but once his 2nd goal of the season arrived in GW18, he scored 16 goals and assisted 10 times in 24 weeks. From GW11 onwards aka the Conte era, he scored 45 more points than any other forward.
There we have the FFUK awards for the 2021/22 season.
With the game live already, have you found this season Jarred Bowen or are you going to get suckered in to believing the hype of the next Emmanuel Dennis??
And finally, here’s a word from FFUK legend Roni:
Dennis is a c*nt… too strong?