Welcome to the GW19 and GW20 REVIEW FFUKers
A combined gameweek review for you. Two gameweeks, one review, or to put it another way, nine days, twenty Premier League games. Another way of putting it is a lot of ffuking hope and 18 red arrows and I’m not talking about some of festive flight display either, no. One for the Dads that. And don’t worry, I won’t be making any dirty jokes, it’s not that sort of blue, unfortunately the only thing that got a good seeing to in my house this Christmas was my Fantasy team. It reminds me of the time my Mum walked in on me – I had one hand on my my phone, desperate to get my team finished in time, and it just happened that I was naked at the time. So as a punishment my Mum made me stand in the garden without any clothes on.
I actually wasn’t well over Christmas, which I think helped as my FPL expectations were quite low. I’ll be honest, I’m not a fan of Christmas music and while I had a strong yearning for some Elton John another El was actually the answer – El-Vis. (Elvis). It was going to be a blue Christmas and the only saving grace was going to be a win for Chelsea. Fortunately, that did happen, Chelsea are now sitting in a comfortable 10th place and are 10 points ahead of Luton Town. How about that? I reckon CFC should be safe for another season in the Premier League, what a result.
The Boxing Day games… ffuk it. I got 32 points and knocked out of the Conts. We can have a look at the Team of the Week but I didnt even have any of them. This is really just for information. In fact the only player of note is really Hwang who I swapped for Odegaard this week. Odegaard had a good game but I really needed a goal and he didn’t get one. That was sad.
December is always a make or break time for me in FPL, sometimes without any real chance of the ‘make’ happening, but for a lot of teams its a time for really showing guts. The Top 10 going into the new year highlights the consistent performances of a number of FFUK players, not least the top 3.
Case in point Mr Jason Beal (1st) came away with a very healthy 50 points this weeks, as did compatriot Sean (Coolers) Colohan (5th), while my metaphysical guru Mark Tarbox (3rd) retains 2nd place. Mark is currently wiping down a moist new wildcard ready to mess up his form, or take it to the next level. If you believe, you can achieve Mark.
The Conts is usually my own best chance of a prize as I find it easier to stay in that game than to get into the Top 20. We are actually in the midst of the Winter of DisCONTent though, which sees a a whopping 36 players kicked out of the Conts League in 3 gameweeks.
As we’re catching up on two weeks worth of football, that means 24 sorry ffuks no longer playing in the Conts League. That list includes: Liam Brannagan, Sean Colohan, Stuart Newton, Mark Storrar, Dave Windsor, Paul Bagshaw, Tom Newman, Ella Chatten, Damien O’Neill, Steven Coffen, Alan Windsor, Mark Woods, Rob Pitt, Alex Kassner, John Parkinson, Mark Woods, Darryl James, Dan Humby, Me, Adam Walker, Daz Russell, Ben Eastwood, Stephanie Ainley, Harvey Smith and Sean Griffin.
We can now all, as they say, ffuk off.
On that note I need to go and do my washing. Just because I’m rubbish at FPL doesn’t mean I don’t matter as a person. And it doesn’t mean that I’m not a success.
I’m going to leave you with a bit of Andy Kaufman, as it’s Christmas. And also because you’ve got to remember the good things.
Good luck everyone,
Love Pete (153rd)
FFUK 