Hello FFUKers, it’s been a while!

I was in two minds about the review track this week and was close to making it all about Heung-Min Son after his hattrick. The Son Rising (The Beloved). Catch The Son (Doves). Son Is Shining (Bob Marley). Here Comes The Son (The Beatles). None of them really aroused me.

Ultimately I decided to pay tribute to the two best teams in the Premier League. Arguably the two best teams in Europe. And if that’s the case then they’re the two best teams in the world at the moment. Either way, they most definitely aroused me this weekend.

Man City and Liverpool met on Sunday afternoon at the Etihad and put on yet another fantastic advert for the Premier League. So I thought I’d give a SHOUT TO THE (two teams at the) TOP.

These two behemoths have won the last four Premier League titles between them and as far as I’m concerned (Chelsea fans may disagree) they’ve been head and shoulders above the rest during that period. When they met at Anfield in early October they served up a veritable feast of entertainment that ended in a 2-2 draw.

And the re-match didn’t disappoint.

There were a lot of similarities between the GW7 encounter and this latest episode. A KDB strike that went in via a Matip deflection. City dominating the first half but wasting a host of chances. Desmond at the final whistle, being a fair reflection. And, 90 minutes of glorious entertainment to enjoy.

Four different scorers, and another four different assisters. KDB (9) opened the scoring after only five minutes following some quick thinking from Bernardo (4). Jota (7) then turned in TAA’s (4) cut-back before Jesus (9) put City back in front before half time with a nice finish from a Cancelo (5) cross. City thoroughly deserved to be ahead at the interval and the gap could have been a goal or two wider.

But Liverpool came out rejuvenated in the second half and it took Mane (7) less than a minute to restore parity from a Salah (5) assist. In amongst all that Sterling (2) was denied a goal by a VAR offside call and Mahrez (1) wasted a great chance late doors.

But after a pulsating 90 minutes there’s still just a solitary point between the two teams, and it wouldn’t surprise me if that was still the case come the evening of Sunday 22nd May.

Now, back to Heung-Min Son. As I noted in last week’s review, Villa have been frustratingly inconsistent since Gerrard took over, so despite Spurs’ strong form I thought this one was a tough result to call. I went with a 1-1 draw in JP’s predictions league. I should have gone with form.

My first car back in 1997 was a Hyundai Pony. What a machine. It took anything and everything I threw at it and paid for itself about ten times over in mileage expense claims. I never thought there’d be a finer South Korean export until Heung-Min Son arrived in the Premier League.


Son (21) now has 17 goals this season, three of which came in this weekend’s 4-0 thrashing of Villa. This is the sixth straight season Son’s reached double figures, totalling 87 goals in that period. Add in 58 assists and you’ve got fantasy gold dust. He started at £7.5 back in the 2015/16 season and his price has risen incrementally each season, such that he started this season at 10.0. He’s now 11.1 and is the player who’s price has risen the most. No surprise when he’s averaging 16 points per game over his last three. Why the FFUK haven’t I got him?!?!

Mind you, the other two members of Spurs’ front three aren’t doing bad either. Kane started the season like the proverbial tortoise, but has seven goals and eight assists in his last nine games. Kulusevski (12) has scored three and made seven assists in that same period. Spurs are averaging more than three goals a game in those last nine games!!

Bad news for the numerous Doherty (1) owners though – he’s been ruled out for the season with a knee injury.

The other notable result was Chelsea’s 6-0 win away at Southampton. Mount (19) was the chief tormentor, with two goals and an assist to go with his sexy new crew cut. And Werner (15) finally found his shooting boots with his second and third league goals of the season (plus an assist).

After Arsenal’s defeat at home to Brighton, Chelsea now have an eight point cushion in their bid for Champions League qualification, and that should be more than enough.

In the two main relegation battles, Leeds beat Watford 3-0 (nice one Damo!) and Norwich beat Burnley 2-0. Everton’s somewhat surprising win at Old Trafford means that Norwich, Watford and Burnley are now strong favourites to go down. They’re all 50+ points from Man City and definitely have to SHOUT TO THE TOP to get the Citizens’ attention.

These are the Kings Of The Gameweek. A special SHOUT to Burn (8), Mwepu (14) and Dewsbury-Hall (13) who each have two games this coming GW – any of them could be great enablers if you’re crazy enough to double up on Bruno and Ronaldo!!

FFUK League Top 20

No change at the top of the FFUK table. The top two (Ian Cayley and Ashley Mather) scored an identical 62 points and Sachin Patel stays third. However, Brendan Ryan leapfrogs Josh Paxman and now sits in fourth spot, only 14 points off the summit.

Highest scoring FFUKer this week was Blakey with a very impressive 97 points. Special wooden spoon mention also goes to Andrew Hutchison for being lowest scorer this week (13 points). The Ederson captain pick was ballsy but hey ho.


Only seven CONTS remained going into GW32 after Pete’s eviction last week. Remarkably, our kid Neil Stewart was one of them! A lethal concoction of a Friday night deadline, ladies in short bright dresses and an unhealthy amount of alcohol ultimately put paid to James Simpson’s CONTS chances. He forgot to make any transfers and fell 14 points short of survival. Never mind Jimbo, you probably won more on the nags than the CONTS kitty anyway!! And that means NDS lives to fight another day…


You’ll be delighted to hear you don’t have to put up with me for a third week running – Harvey’s taking up the reins (cheeky Grand National reference) for the GW33 review, which is good cos I’ll most likely be spending all my time picking a Wildcard squad.

I’ll leave you with a little trivia nugget – one for DJ Pete…

Prior to forming The Style Council, Paul Weller initially rose to fame as lead singer of The Jam. The Jam’s first number 1 single was ‘Going Underground’, but the song was originally intended just to be the B-side to ‘Dreams of Children’ until a FFUK-up at the factory. Every day’s a school day, eh Pete?!

JDS – Rice Said Fred (even lower than last week – now 75th – I really do have to SHOUT TO THE TOP)

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