Well good day FFUKers, as the sprint towards the World Cup commences with a never ending schedule of midweek action on the way, I have the pleasure of bringing you the GW5 roundup – The Demise!

Some people might say my life is in a rut
But I’m quite happy with what I got!

As the WhatsApp crew are aware, I am currently being put through the ringer by the “curious” performances of Liverpool, being the proud owner of TAA (2), VVD (2) and Robbo (2)! If its not VVD forgetting how to close down the opposition, Trent will be there providing slide rule passes to the opposition Attacking Midfielders! Bringing me to the GW narrative, are we seeing THE DEMISE of Big At The Back??

The downturn in DEF returns has coincided with a dramatic uptick in the performances of the FWDs most notably the Norwegian Meat Shield himself, Haaland (17) (Ownership 73.6% and climbing), having banged in his second Hat trick in as many games!!! Personally I think he has already wrapped up the golden boot as we enter September! Adding to the fantastic performances of the man of the moment we also have Jesus (6) (Ownership 80.3%) reincarnated within a fantastic Arsenal side and walking on water with 3 goals and 3 assists to his name already! Firmino (9) goes from strength to strength during the self enforced absence of Darwin, with an ownership of just 3.8% he is proving to be a real differential to a lucky few!! To close out the top performances by the FWDs we have the absolute Machine that is Mitro-bitch (9), this guy looks unstoppable at the moment having continued his fantastic Championship form in the top division! Notable mentions must also go to the World Class finisher that is Kane (5) & Toney (1) at Brentford. Below is the current Non Pen XG stats for these ballers!!!

People might need some tension to relax
Me?, I’m too busy dodging between the flak!

Unfortunately as I am acutely aware the case for the defence is no where near as strong, with a number of the FFUK community still wedded to the promise of Chelsea cleanies and attacking returns from the likes of James (0) unwell, Cucu (1) and Chilwell(1) the sight of the Saints banging an equaliser through Lavia (6) against the run of play at Saint Marys must have been painful to digest! The fact Armstrong (9) went on to bang a 2nd for the Saints pinching a 2-1 win, bagging the 3BPS in the process, must have been even more painful for our Glorious Leader to digest. Although a number of cheaper options are available within the Arsenal backline the sight of them also conceding in a 2-1 win over hapless Villa hurt another slew of managers with the likes of Gabriel (2), Saliba (1) and Tierney (2) all coming unstuck! The Arsenal attacking options in midfield continue to perform very well with Martinelli (10) the standout, having now bagged 3 goals and an assist in 5 games. There are a number of happy Gooners out there with their fantastic start to the season seeing them retain Top Dog status in the Prem!!!

One for @JamesS and @Ameet to enjoy!

As mentioned Liverpool conceding yet again almost brought a tear to my eye and almost sounded the death nell for big at the Back, however City did their best to allow time for contemplation with a 6-0 route of Forest! Cancelo (12) firing home and picking up the clean sheet points! The stats do offer some form of hope in terms of XGC to my Pool triple DEF…

What you see is what you get
You’ve made your bed, you better lie in it!

A notable mention from GW5 goes to Newcastle’s new £60 Million signing from Real Sociedad Alexander Isak (7) available for 7.0 million, he fired home his first and was “unlucky” to see a lovely second ruled offside! He looks the real deal and is definitely one for the shortlist!

Team of the Week

With no fewer than 4 city players in the team of the week it shows that class is permanent, one speckle of hope for me to hold on to! Sancho (10) is now beginning to look like the player Utd shelled £100m on, scoring the only goal of the game in the 1-0 victory over limp Leicester. With the addition of Antony and Casemiro to the Utd squad and 3 wins on the spin under their belts, could it be time to reconsider the Utd options??

We talk and we talk until my head explodes
I turn on the news and my body froze!

FFUK League Table

Jamie Cooper and Kevin Ryan share the lead at the top with 375 points, a truly fantastic start ton your respective seasons lads, well done!! Manager of the Month goes to Jamie by virtue of the fact he made less transfers this month.

This GWs top score was also shared by Darren McKeown and Coolers!! each scoring 94 points and each having the glorious meat shield as their captain! Well done lads fantastic stuff!!

In this one we have one eviction to announce and this week it’s Paul Baker who goes scoring 49 pts perhaps down to a blank from his captain KDB. Unlucky Bakes focus on the league now!

Kloppage Time

Kloppage time feels somewhat ironic this week, based upon the late late show at St James! I wish you all the very best for GW6, the show must go on!!!

I’m going underground

Roni Friel (Southbourne Celtic 148th)

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