Welcome along to the Gameweek 3 review. There’s a lot to discuss and devour, but don’t worry it’s the international break so you’ll have plenty of time for this. Tell you what, we’re even going to wash it down with a nice glass of Elbow for you too. Let’s find out why.

Gameweek 3 was defined by the fact that Aguero and Zlatan didn’t outshine everyone else for the first time this season, meaning that our squads were truly tested. With no scores from our big front men, those with Hazard, Sterling and Sanchez in their squads were the ones looking smooth on Sunday. But something else happened on Sunday too, something we need to mention, there’s an elephant in the room, and we’re not talking about Jordan Henderson’s inclusion in the England squad…

The evidence

Potentially the most significant moment of GW3 happened off the ball, 14 minutes from time in the final match. It was significant because it involved a certain Mr Aguero. Fantasy managers everywhere collectively gasped! Did he mean to elbow Reid? Yes. Was it violent? Yes. Will he be charged? Don’t know?

However, we do know that if this was Diego Costa then there would be no argument. Ban! No question. Probably thrown in prison too. And that isn’t right is it? (Don’t worry we can hear your retorts guys!) We now wait for the referee’s report; if the referee didn’t see the incident then the decision goes straight into the hands of the F.A. Sergio’s only saving grace will be if the ref admits to seeing the incident and asserts his original decision that it was not a cardable offence.

aguero elbow
Look how guilty Sergio looks!

All of these issues would be resolved by having a video referee within the stadium. When will football move into the 21st century?

If Aguero is charged then in all probability he is going to be banned for three games, two of which are in the Premier League. This is definitely going to force some of us to push the Wildcard Button, and I’m pretty sure Pete has pushed the button already. But to be fair, Aguero is just one of several squad issues he needs to deal with.

However, before the Argentinian Archer (El-Bow? sorry!) there were nine other games so let’s review it!

The weekend started with Liverpool and Spurs playing out an entertaining 1-1 draw on Saturday lunchtime. Liverpool dominated for long periods and should have done better really, so maybe the Danny Rose (8) goal meant Spurs came away happier. And so, the 1-1 draw was a popular scoreline this weekend. In fact both the Crystal Palace vs Bournemouth and Southampton vs Sunderland games ended with the same. The 1-1 is perhaps the worst result for a fantasy manager, no clean sheets and only minimal goals to get points from. Give me a boring 0-0 like the West Brom Vs Boro game any day (as long as I have a gk/def of course).

Arsenal & Leicester both got their season’s up and running and both games would have finished 3-1 if Mahrez (big fat zero) hadn’t missed a penalty. Looks like last season’s player of the season has lost his mojo, Vardy (8) back on pens then! Arsenal smashed Watford for 3 goals in the first half of their game with Sanchez (16) and Ozil (8) combining to particularly good effect. And Wenger has just done his customary panic buys to appease the Gooners for another year too! Get ready to celebrate! 4th place is back on! .


Everton under Koeman look a tougher nut to crack. They continued their resurgence beating Stoke 1-0 and Baines (7) even missed a penalty, sort of. A painful watch for any owners of the old fantasy favourite.

Southampton need to sack their groundsman. Or at the very least he needs to be sectioned. Seriously it hurt my eyes just watching the highlights. I can’t tell you what happened in the game but I can show you a photo of the lines.

the dell

In Saturday’s evening kick off Man Utd left it late. Very late in fact. 92 minutes. Almost like old times. Rashford (4) came on and finished a Rooney assist (4), what a prospect he looks! Can’t be long before he is first choice, just move Zlatan (2) back a bit and drop Rooney. Hold on why am I helping Man Utd? Leave Rooney in please.

Chelsea not only outclassed their opponents but also outran and out-fought them. Admittedly it was against a limited Burnley side but it was still an impressive performance. Conte certainly has them working for each other, especially the rejuvenated Hazard (11), who sparkled throughout. Kante (3) hoovered up any danger and that allowed Willian (11), in particular, space. In fact the Brazilian also got on the score sheet whilst his compatriot Oscar (2) also looked dangerous.

That just leaves Man City. They walloped West Ham, and the score line should have been heavier. Aguero (2) wasn’t involved, maybe that’s why he lashed out? Stones (1) went off early. In the end Sterling (15) stepped up, with a few clever fantasy managers grinning from ear to ear in the 92nd minute.


But that is all from me for this week. Lets now go over to Pete for a look at Page 1 of the league table.


Screenshot 2016-08-29 at 2.10.18 AM

Screenshot 2016-08-29 at 2.10.30 AM

Thanks Chris, and what a week that was. Was it? Well yes, clearly it was for some, in a week that was utterly defined by the blanks from Zlatan and Sergio. At the beginning of the gameweek, 46 out of the Top 50 FFUK teams had one of those two as their captain, and so the cream was on offer to those bold enough to go for a certain Eden Hazard instead.

How did this affect the Top 10? Well devastatingly, for last season’s Champion, Mr Paul Baker (56th)  this meant an earth-shattering drop from 9th in the league to 56th place! Don’t worry Paul, I didn’t have a great week either and am already assembling my freshly made wildcard team. I’m sure you are too. Hey, how about we meet up next gameweek and try our new wildcard teams out?

Steve Cronin (1st) leads the pack after showing that strength and depth required to ride out the big blanks. I’m sure someone must be helping this kid. Steve’s backline are absolutely to credit, a West Brom double along with Shaw (6) and Morgan (8) gave him a solid base with Hazard adding some shine. Mahrez disappointed with a big fat zero but that’s what squads are for I guess. Andy Jackson (2nd) gave a similar demonstration, and has now been in the Top 10 every gameweek. Good work for getting Baines in Andy, a rare but impressive sight these days. Andy is one of those with Sterling, and a ballsy Ivanovic (5) pick also worked out well for him this weekend, where interestingly Andy played a 4-3-3 formation. Notably Andy has two 4.5 mids and it may be that with our expensive frontlines to pay, we see more of this through the season.

But yes, the Zlaguero blankety blank resulted in 6 of last week’s Top 10 dripping down to be replaced by some new faces. Last week’s highest scorer Mark Tarbox (5th) made his charge for a successive successful gameweek despite captaining Aguero. His trusty Mesut along with Willian and a double United defence were his main source of points, though the cheeky Morgan goal for Leicester is still upsetting me a little bit. I just can’t work our whether Leicester are going to be good this season or not and it’s doing my head in. If anyone knows the answer to that question then please write in to let me know, plus it’s probably worth having a bet on it too.

A few other old faces coming in to replace the existing Top Ten include Darren McKeown (10th), Phil Smith (9th), and Allan Tomkins (8th). Nice team name by the way Allan, you weren’t on a stag do with me once in Brighton were you? The ‘Get ya rat out’ call is a poignant memory.


But Mark Ford (joint 3rd) and Chris Norman (joint 5th) are the ones who showed us the right time to take the armband off Zlaguero, both picking Hazard this week despite the fact that Zlatan was facing Hull and Sergio was on fire. I don’t know what to say other than I wish I was you right now.

Mark Ford is clearly a bit of a maverick, one of the serious few that has neither Zlatan or Sergio in his line up (insane or genius?), but having neither of them means Mark has a really decent and balanced team. Rooney picked up an assist and Costa (5) a goal, backing up the Hazard captaincy. Eric Bailly (8) in defence with De Gea (6) and Azpilicueta (7) contributing to a decent 65 point week. Fair play Mark!

Check this out, Chris Norman doesn’t have Zlatan or Aguero either! Holy ballbags! No wonder they both captained Hazard! Wowzers! And I’m in way condemning this tactic either, as like Fordy, Chris has a decent squad too. Shaw, Williams (6) and Cech (4) all picked up points for Chris, as well as the impressive Sanchez haul, with Fer (6) and Lamela (7) in midfield too. Excellent work Chris!

Oh, that reminds me. Chris Galloway is in 3rd place the little weasel. Next time round, if he’s still in the Top 10, I’ll have a proper look at his team, cos I’m nice like that.

Anyway so have a great international break everyone, let’s hope there are no injuries and Aguero, Gray and Lamela all avoid bans. Really. Just enough time left for a bit of Elbow then. I wonder if the F.A. like it…




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