Welcome to the gameweek 24 review. This one hurt so go gentle with me. I could have chosen any one of a million heartbreak songs to best express this breakup and handily give me a theme for this review. Perhaps it was the great actor’s recent passing, this one seems the most appropriate. Pete tells me he prefers the Johnny Cash cover but I have always loved the darkness of the original and it was a good excuse to reacquaint myself with the album. I digress, I guess I am trying to avoid the subject. Oh Jesus. I’m hurt. I don’t know who I blame more – Pep, Sergio, Jesus or myself? Actually I definitely blame myself more, mainly because I am unable to speak with the others.

To my amazement I wasn’t alone in giving him the captaincy – there were 18 FFUKers who also must have been hurting. Incredibly, when I saw the stats, courtesy of our very own Steve Cronin (58th), he was actually the 3rd favourite pick Fer Fuchs Ake! Now even taking into account a few dead teams down the bottom that is… well it’s something.  I hope you dealt with it better than me.


Why did I captain a player who was not nailed on to start? It’s an elementary rule of Fantasy Football. I kept faith again after the horror show last week and there was a certain inevitability to what happened, I have experienced this before, 3 times this season in fact. But this time it hurt more. I was blinded by my affection for the player and let that emotion affect my judgement. Schoolboy error. Earlier in the week, after writing the last review, I was all set to get rid. Aguero (1) and Cabaye (1) out for Costa (8) and Coutinho (2) or Firmino (2) was the move planned with my 2 free transfers. But Aguero is still the best centre forward in the league. Isn’t he? What the FFUK is going on? Throughout the week my thoughts became clouded, why would I transfer out Kun at home to Swansea for Diego Costa who was up against the Arsenal? I just couldn’t do it… But the captaincy decision was where it all went wrong, I should know better, I should at least have known that Zlatan (6) was the better pick. I now know. Yes that hurt, lesson learned. I have metaphorically smacked myself in the face many times since then, which worked (I think?) but then I had to take action. Therefore I rage transferred Lukaku (21) in at 3.31pm on Sunday, and this made me feel slightly better. Aguero has gone. Forever (probably). The end of an era. Ok that’s it. Rant over.

Gone but not forgotten

There was more action but after one too many medicinal ciders to numb the pain and all that metaphorical face-smashing on Sunday night a lot of it seems a distant memory. Still, let’s try and make sense of what happened. If you don’t mind I will avoid talking about the City game as I have now achieved some sort of closure after the rage transfer and reopening those wounds again would cause me unnecessary discomfort.

Clean sheets for Hull, Sunderland, Spurs, Man Utd and West Brom were a welcome relief to those who owned their defensive assets but there was no shortage of attacking points on offer to those lucky enough.

9 goals! There is only one game to focus on. The game of the weekend was Everton’s 6-3 goal fest with Bournemouth. These games are fantasy gold dust if you happen to own players from these sides. In particular that one player. Conversely they hurt when you don’t own any – that’s a lot of points to miss out on. Talking of points the top scoring player by of the gameweek by some distance was Everton’s Romelu Lukaku (21) after smashing in 4 goals against the Cherries. Here’s a question? In FPL we love our players scoring braces, and its dreamland when they get a hatricks but is there even a term for scoring 4 goals? We should invent one if there isn’t.


Congratulations to the 17 of you who gave him the armband, the 5th most popular pick. He is now the joint-top scoring forward in the game with 140 points and his 28% ownership is set to rise. However, I have transferred him in so prepare yourself for a barren spell 😉 Everton’s main man is now up to 16 for the season and the big Belgian is top of the goal-scoring charts. Not bad at all and some of the previous criticism is, at best, unjustified.  Who knows what is to come, he can only get better. The big clubs will surely come calling this summer – sorry Everton fans!


But if you didn’t have Big Rom then it wasn’t necessarily all doom and gloom, there were quite a few others who scored big including a few of the old favourites. 5 out of the 8 most popular captain picks all scored some attacking points. Kane (6) was the most popular captain pick with 56 FFUKers on board.

However my favourite moment of the weekend has nothing to do with FPL. I was watching the highlights of Ross Barkley (12) score his goal in injury time, I have never seen a player in the Premier League prematurely celebrate a goal before he shoots, I cant work out what I think about it, I know the reaction would have been very different had he not scored but there is something that I absolutely love about it.


Enough of all this, we need to look at what has gone on in the Top 50 of the FFUK league… Are you where you want to be?


Still at the top of the table is Nick Johns (1st) who extends his lead to 40 points over Sean Colohan (2nd) but there is movement below – the Top 3 has changed for the first time since GW10.

Phil Smith (3rd) rockets up the league courtesy of a hugely impressive 98 points which was in fact the top score in the league. Just a couple of points from dreamland. How did he manage it? Naturally he was one of the 17 who captained Lukaku (42) whilst his back 4 of Valencia (11), Walker (8), Alonso (8) and Funes Mori (4) was the very epitome of rock solid, even Mannone (9) scored big! Fantastic scoring Phil.

Next best scorer was our very own Daron Russell (15th) with 97 points. In the review for the 2nd week running but this time for the right reason. No prizes for guessing who Daz captained but the other 2 in his front line also caught the eye. Sweet Jesus (13) and Costa (8). Having said all this his defence wasn’t bad either with his trio of Alonso (8), Walker (8) and MacAuley (7) all doing the business. I can only imagine the joy you felt at the weekend, and I am not at all jealous 😉


Next best was Mark Leatham (26th) with 91 points. Once again Mark captained Lukaku (46) and his supporting cast included Defoe (13), Valencia (11) and Costa (8). Congrats Mr Leatham, great time to put in a strong score like this.

My own performance could have been a lot worse. I managed 59 points. We won’t go over my captain meltdown again. But suffice to say Mannone (9), Brunt (9), Alonso (8), Defoe (13), Zlatan (6) and a cheeky assist from Snoddy (5) saved my blushes. Its all change now as the man who shall not be mentioned has gone. Amat is going next. The stalwarts of my side are disappearing one by one.

Now its time to look at those less fortunate. As Daz showed its not all doom and gloom, this week you may be in the duldrums, but next week could be brilliant (as long as you pick a captain who scores 4!). Hold tight for the lowest scores in the Top 50.


Lowest score in the Top 50 goes to Robert Simpson (41st) with just 33 points. What makes this score even worse is that Robert used his wildcard to achieve it. That must hurt. KDB (4) captain didn’t work out. Walker (8) was the only real score of note. It looks like you have already taken action with 4 transfers made. (I would happily wager that Aguero was one of them). Still at least you are in the Top 50, all is not lost. Moving swiftly on…

Stuart Newton (6th) was the worst scorer in the Top 10 and as mentioned dropped out of the top 3. Captain Coutinho (4) didn’t pay off, and Stuart is another with Aguero (1) in his side, I am sensing a theme here. 4 transfers already made to rectify the situation. Not a good weekend for the Liverpool fan.

So that is that, it could have hurt more I guess. Thanks for staying with me. I will leave you with the depressing words of Trent Reznor, who also must have owned captained Aguero.

“What have I become?

My sweetest friend.

Everyone I know

goes away in the end”

Never ever again.







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