GW5 REVIEW – YELLOW

Welcome to the GW 5 REVIEW – YELLOW

This GW ‘was all YELLOW’!!

The injury ravaged Canaries showed us yet again that if you’re brave, City are beatable!

The Pukki-Party shows no signs of abating!

pukki party

A word (and apology) for Pukki (12); who is now the top FPL scorer with 49 points.

Sorry mate, I’ve changed my mind – you are ESSENTIAL! Seems like you can score against anyone, anywhere, anytime! I will never doubt you again!!

Also present at the Pukki-Party were Buendia (11), Cantwell (6) and McLean (6).

It was a massive shock! So convinced people were that Man City would tonk Norwich is evidenced in the high volume (53%) of FFUKers that put their armband on a City player!

In fairness to the 15% that gave it to Aguero (6) – you at least got something back!

So, the spinning has started! The Pep-Roulette is in motion!

Pep roulette

Alas, it landed on the face of KDB (1) – oh!!

A lot of people weren’t happy; none more-so though than Nathan Boucher (210th) who only went and used his Triple Captain Chip on him – argh – 3 FFUKing points!!!

To ease my personal KDB frustrations, I put two pins in the ball-bag of my Pep Voodoo Doll – one for each testicle! I did see he was scratching himself quite a lot during the game; either my doll works or he has an unrelated venereal disease? Or his trousers are just too tight?!

Will this wobble City, like it did last season? Will they be on the end of a ‘Golden-Shower’ next week at home to the ‘Orns’?

Time will tell…

Elsewhere, Liverpool’s winning steak continued. Goals aplenty from Mane (15) and Salah (9) make them simply irresistible in attack. Very much like in my bed though, they’re also struggling to keep a clean-sheet! My bed linen is all too often YELLOW!

Both time for Pool to be less gung-ho and me to start wearing an adult night-nappy??

nappy

Helping to take away some of the attention and embarrassment from both me and Liverpool’s defence is no-one else seems to be keeping a clean sheet! In fact from the 20 teams only 5 didn’t concede!

Chelsea and Spurs made BIG statements and scored BIG.

Abraham (14) & Tomori (9) and Son (16), Aurier (14) & Alderweireld (10) reaping the BIG points. A couple of possible low-priced gems in that gaggle!

Turning to the late Sunday match saw Arsenal go two goals to the good pretty quickly courtesy of Aubameyang (13). They were comfortable at half time. Job done? JPC (37th) thought so, anticipating a whitewash he switched TV channels!!

Now, if we go Back to the Future however, we know the Gunners are full of bottlers…

They overconfidently thought they’d BIFF’ed Watford; Ozil (ahem) called them YELLOW in the tunnel at half-time!

Watford, angered, finally grew some and learned to both score and mcFLY!

Nobody calls Watford YELLOW – they’re golden!!

aa mcfly

Monday gave us….

… not a lot! A bore-draw. Two clean sheets though – way hay!!

It’s sad times when I’m cheering a clean sheet! Defenders just aren’t ‘all that’ this season.

In fact there is only one defender in the top FPL 20 scoring players thus far!

Scores were quite disproportionate this GW. It was obvious if you picked a ‘decent’ Captain or a ‘Man City’ Captain!

The Average FPL score was 52.

The FFUK top ten didn’t really set the world alight! Their average was 57!

Top Cock and Scorer in the FFUK top ten was Simon Cockram (6th) with 71 pts.

Our new Leader is Neil Stewart (1st); he’s got ‘form’ and is a frequent occupier of a lofty position!

He has bragging rights over his brother and previous winner – Jamie Stewart (52nd). In fairness, he’s looking down and laughing at us all!

Three players made it into the Swiss electronic 80’s band – YELLO!

band yello

Top scorer was David Sullivan (45th) with 85 pts, closely followed by Malachi Benjamin (166th), who after you deduct his 4-point-Hit got 84 pts. Making up the 80’s crew was Leon Bonner (147th) with 81 pts.

Lowest scorer was Kingsley Goodridge (129th) with 29 pts.

A quick glimpse at my forecasted winner in the Take 5 Season Prediction

Pete Cronin’s (78th) 64 pts moves him up the table – is it too late to change my mind?!

Another Double-Conts-Eviction!!

eviction

The first evictee Sean Griffin (71st) knew his fate on Sunday with a lowly 32 pts and no-one playing in the Monday night fixture.

There were quite a few sweating over their fate as Villa played the Hammers.

Two YELLOW cards equalling a red for Masuaka (3) made it squeaky bum time for Coolers but his clean sheet points proved vital!

a masauku yellow

Joining Sean Griffin on the Conts scrapheap is Ben Eastwood (186th) with 39 pts.

Tough spill lemons, your Conts Life is over…

Breathing a huge sigh of relief and with a complexion reverting back to normal from a YELLOW-ish colour is –

James Downie (135th), Sean Colohan (206th) & Alex Sadilier (242nd) with 41, 42 & 42 points respectively.

Take your Conts ‘pardon’ and come back stronger!

Another ‘Guest Reviewer’ takes the reigns next week; until then, keep your pecker up FFUKers…

Laters…

Stu Allen

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