Wow what a wild game week that was. 41 FFUKers decided PATIENCE isn’t a virtue, choosing to rip up the strategy and team selections they spent the 3-4 week preseason deliberating over to press the Wild Card button in GW2.

Was it worth it? Personally at 2.30pm on Saturday I was sitting pretty, humming along to various Wild themed songs thinking what a FFUK/FPL genius I had become…

Wild Card, you make my heart sing

You make Everton groovy, Wild Card (duh duh duh dum…)

Little did I (and 485k others) know that within 24 hours we would regret not humming along to Steppenwolf’s Born to Be Wild.

Get your Mourinho runnin’
Head out on the highway
Lookin’ for 3 points
And whatever comes our way
Yeah KANE go make it happen
With 4 Assists in a love embrace
Fire all of your SON at once
And explode into space


Before the review begins in full, we have some housekeeping to do so thank you again for your PATIENCE… 

With non-paying FFUKers being purged over the weekend, Chris and Pete will be confirming final numbers and final prize money very soon, keep your eye out for the post this week! You should also all have seen CUPDATES WITH BAKES, explaining the 3 cups up for grabs this season. The FFUK Champions League is the most complicated of the lot so if you’re one of the few that understands how it works, congratulations but it still doesn’t give you a qualifying place!  

DREAM TEAM – now called Kings of the Gameweek!

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Following on from his opening goal of the season in GW1, Dominic Calvin-Lewin (17) struck a ‘one touch/Inzaghi’ hat trick assisted by Richarlison (12) and Hamez aka Rodriguez (12) to help get the game week of to a 7 goal thriller.

Little did we know that by Monday evening 44 goals would be scored, providing some big GW scores across the board.

Leeds reversed their 4-3 loss at Liverpool beating Fulham by the same score with Costa (14) scoring 2 goals from midfield, before Zaha (15) scored a brace to help Crystal Palace beat Man Utd – if only Moyes had shown PATIENCE and gave him a chance (like his daughter – ahem!*) at Old Trafford…

With 151 FFUKers captaining Auba (5) in the late evening kick-off, including 2 triple captains, Saturday ended on a low for many…

But then SONday came and began with another 7 goal thriller, enjoyable for anyone who owned Ings (11), Kane (21) and Son (22). If only some of us had shown more PATIENCE

Maupay (16) showed the benefit again of having a penalty taker in your FPL team. With 8 penalties awarded GW2 (counting Palace’s double chance), 5 were scored. Unlucky for those FFUKers with Jorgino (0), Lundy (-1) and Ayew (5) who all missed!

Mane (16) showed his excellent away form again, helping Liverpool beat Chelsea 2-0. Will FFUKers show PATIENCE with Salah (3), with the better organised and improved mighty Gunners up next…

Despite the huge number of goals scored, defenders with attacking possibilities proved their worth. Castagne (9) with 2 assists, helped Leicester win 4-2 vs a poor Burnley defence. And on Monday Villa’s Konsa (15) and Mings (10) scored highly, whilst Martinez (13) was just pipped to the gloves by Allison (14), having both saved penalties.

In the final game KDB (13) had a quiet game with only 1 goal (penalty) and assist to his name – expect his FPL ownership to show no PATIENCE and increase rapidly from 37.1%.

*allegedly, according to Patrice Evra!



John Barry (1stshowed no PATIENCE this week and used his Wild Card to good effect, scoring 86 pts to take Pole position in the FFUK league. Behind him David Harrison (2nd) had another strong week moving up from 3rd – one to keep an eye on as the season progresses. 

Biggest movers into the Top 10 were Kevin Trotter & Joe Warrington (joint 4th – from 90), whilst defending Champion Grant Lawrie (8) scored a whopping 94pts to move up from 144th place.  Tom Henshall (20) also scored highly – 83 points – to move up from 131st position. But top GW score spoils go to Matthew Shaw (6) with 115 points – with captain Kane and Son bring in 66 points alone. 40 points more than Tom Ryan (159) could manage with his entire squad (have PATIENCE Tom, points will come!). 


Wild Card Stats: 

  • Best use – John Barry: 75pts (GW1) vs 86pts (GW2) = +11pt swing (his GW1 team, if played GW2 would ‘only’ have scored 53. 
  • Worse use – Sam Barker: 75pts (GW1) vs 38pts (GW2) = -37pt swing 
  • More PATIENCE please – Samuel Baker: 26pts (GW1) vs 62pts (GW2) but his GW1 team, if played GW2 would have scored 97pts! 
  • 14 Wildcards started with Son GW1, only 3 kept him for GW2 


Thanks to Justin McCarthy (last week’s CONTs evictee) for the theme/song inspiration – the mighty GUN’S & ROSES PATIENCE. … 

One, two, one, two, three, four SON 

Shed a tear ’cause I’m missin‘ you (if like me you wildcarded him out!) 
I’m still alright to smile (just – thank you Martinez!) 
KDB, I think about you every day now 
Was a time when I wasn’t sure 
But PENALTY TAKING set my mind at ease 
There is no doubt DCL you’re in my heart now 

Said “FFUKer take it slow, and it’ll work itself out fine” 
All we need is just a little WILD CARD patience 

CONTS was another close affair with 5 FFUKers nervously watching the City/Wolves game to see what their fate would be. To be fair to them, the players selected in these teams could all have scored far more than they did – Werner, ASM, Salah, Rashford, Adams, Wilson, Vardy, Doherty, McCarthy all failing to deliver anything of significance.

Mark Storrar (33) could only watch and pray with no points available to him in the game. James Amar (34) would have been confident with the match before (Villa vs ShefF Utd) in getting a couple of points with Egan (-2), but the red card saw a 4 point swing and made him the new target to beat. But with KDB (13), Jimmy (6), Podence (5) and Sterling (5) all returning points, both were condemned to eviction from the CONTS. Unlucky lads.

And that’s it from me FFUKers, I’ll leave you with some more lyrical genius, from me, James, combined with some classic Simpson/Barlow.

Just have a little patience, I’m still hurting from the SON I lost, I’m feeling your WERNER frustration, but any minute all the KANE pain will stop.

Just hold, DCL close inside your arms tonight, Don’t be too hard on my KDB emotions,

Cos I, need SALAH, and time!

My bench is numb, has no feeling, so while I’m still EGAN healing,

Just try and have a little PATIENCE.

Stay safe and best of luck everyone in GW3!

James Simpson (215th)

Sir Barlow and team

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