This is the story of the HarryKane (Hurricane)
“Pistol shots ring out in a bar room night! Enter Manuel Lanzini from the other bench, he sees Mourinho in a pool of blood, I say my god he’s killed the Spurrrrrrrs,”
Here comes the story of the HarryKane, 2 goals and an assist to his name, 2 assists and a goal from Korean Son, for 45 mins Spurs could…. have been…… the champions of the worrrrrld..
Most of the winners and losers this week hinged somewhat on the story of Harry Kane, who top scored this GW along with the much jettisoned Timo Werner on 16 points each. Che Adams (11) easing some pressure on the ever consistent Dings who still contributed but the Midfield was all about Spurs with Son (13) United with Rash (15) and Bruno (11) whilst Barkley keeps up his impressive form for Villa with an 11 point hall too. At the back, Maguire seemed slab and shoulders above the rest with a solid 8 pts but for Kilman (not to be confused with Pickford) to contribute in MNF with a very impressive 12 points, he costs about 2p too a FFUKing bargain! That Blue Nose Keane with the only legitimate Blue contribution to the Mersey Derby chipped in with 8pts too – Any Ricky Owners would have been wounded by his -1, Salah (7) just about did enough to satisfy his arm band choice for many and Sterling (11) looks like he’s back in the solid numbers for City too. I’m not going to mention anything about eVARton. VVD owners were rushing for the transfer out option as not to lose any value in his season ending injury, is it me or are falls in value much quicker and more common than rises this season? I actually like this approach as it punishes ghost teams etc more and gives you a choice, chase good performers or deal with poor ones first?
I must admit, as a Liverpool fan, after the early kick off on Saturday I got disenchanted with football and switched off for most of the remaining GW which isn’t ideal when you’re on review duty! So lets look at the FFUKing League shall we.
Big! No actually Massive!! Shout out goes to Sam Parker who leapt to 78th in the league like the proverbial Salmon scoring 100 (-4) Tekkers Parker! Almost made the 100 club too which on a single GW is always impressive (Parker is also the name of my dog for all those who DGAF)
Clayton Deakin retains top spot in the league with his 82 pts meaning he was the only non-mover in the top 20. There were 3 red arrows and most notably, falling from 2nd to 3rd, Steve Cronin AKA Statto’s team called rather appropriately “The HurriKanes” gets a red arrow with 75 pts. An impressive 97 points from Jon Bryant who moves into 2nd and is joined by 15 other green arrows in the top 20. It’s tough at the top.
James Downie high scored in the top 20 with a Bench Boosting score that I call “the Kajagoogoo” or 98 which is two shy of the 100 club. Some familiar names are in the top 20 but the biggest name in the FFUKing league our chairman and joint CEO Chris (I was a bit rubbish last year) Galloway is nestled in 19th place! Keep up the good work mate!
Let’s look at the FF UK Conts mini league now and it’s with great sadness that I announce a great contributor to the league in Reidy AKA Matt Reid (48) and also a great contributor to the WhatsApp group Craig Sharman (48) have been brutally excommunicated form the Conts!
Right, this has been a war of attrition for an angry VAR hating man to write this GW. I’ll leave you with “a song for Virgil” but let’s not be soppy about things! Let’s have a dirty rave up instead, Carl Cox and I want you (forever)!