It’s only a game, it’s only a game. I feel like someone else has said that before.

I looked at my team on Monday and it looked awful. 3x City players + Bruno all playing each other. Leno, is still my goalkeeper (poor me). I had no Salah in my team. No Vardy. My go to Brighton defender Webster was going to Leicester away so I felt like I was gonna be relying on Coufal and Soucek for points. What to do?

Considering I was up against Daz Russell (5th) in the H2H I happened upon a cheeky idea. FREE HIT!!! Daz’s team looked great, he had everyone I wanted. The plan was always to match the 6 or 7 most wanted players, then outstyle Daz by swerving Bruno and Dias who he’d be forced to play. Best laid plans.

The mind games were well underway by this point, but not wanting to upset Daz, I thought I’d wait until Friday to tell him. The mind games you see, were just going on in my head. A week full of glee I had, laughing to myself about my prospective H2H win, before beginning to wind up Daz on Thursday night, 24 hours before deadline.

The good news was that Newcastle had a very uncertain squad ahead of this gameweek which I could profit from by getting rid of Wilson this week, and an injury to Jota could also be swerved. What could possibly go wrong?

My Free Hit was all a waste of time. Steve Bruce was playing mind games and the Jota injury meant that Soucek (9) jumped off seemingly everyone’s bench but mine. The bore off between City and United would have earned me 2 clean sheets from my City defenders (although I was right not to worry about Bruno or KDB). The main purpose of this one week restructure was to get Salah in – one goal and 1 bonus point wasn’t much to worry about either. I did have Kane and Son but took Vardy out for Ings and used the spare change to upgrade my defence to include the Trent and Robbo double up. Surely that would pay off? No.

Actually, let’s just have a look at the team of the week to see if I picked any of them.

Right yeah, I put none of those in my FREE HIT team. The only one I even looked at was Vardy, but I took him out after my brother, Steve Cronin (3rd), advised me that his home form was poor. Mind games?

Having a look at the league things aren’t going so well for Steve, and despite it being his birthday today, he is in an utter panic about his FPL team. Coolers (2nd) is back to his old self after a tough season last time round, while Clayton Deakin (1st) sits top after doing the right thing, and captaining party boy Jamie Vardy.

Steven Almond (4th) was another to captain this weeks most successful forward, and big ups to my main man Daz Russell (5th) who can do no wrong this season. Daz was cool as FFUK through all my wind ups, with his one transfer (DCL to Wilson) not mattering. Suffice to say he won our H2H match, and by a comfortable 15 points.

But it wasn’t a great week at all for some of us, hit or no hit, and with the average at 51 points, surely some had a gameweek to forget.

This week sees FFUK veterans Tim McEwan (163) and Mark Leathem (15th) firmly receiving the FFUKing boot out of the Conts League this week. Get the FFUK out of here you losers!!! Tim didn’t score horrendously, with 42, and Mark got an ok 48 points, but the Conts, really does not give a FFUK. Be gone lads.

The good news is that for the 38 still in the Conts, there is only one more double eviction to go, this gameweek, GW13. The bad news is that on gameweeks 14, 15 and 16 there will be a DESPICABLE 4 EVICTIONS per round. It’s exactly what the TWELVE CONTS OF CHRISTMAS deserve.

Anyway, I’m off to do a punty transfer. Why go template when you can have a moment of hopeful fun each gameweek before your team does rubbish? Why be boring when you can be stupid?

Have a FFUKing jolly time FFUKers.


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