Hey ffukers! Well, what an honour it is to be on review for one of the smallest GW’s I have ever played. With just 4 matches in GW29 – this was always going to be about whether you take hits, use chips or do what I did and “sit tight” and pray for low scores…

It is with great pleasure that I announce this GW’s song of choice is non other than “Jessie” by Joshua Kadison -1993 (Jesse Lingard was just 6 months old when this was released). With its highest US chart position at number 11 – ironically Jesse Lingard’s number!…

“Jessie paint your picture, about how its gonna be..” – I’m sure the picture didn’t include sitting on the bench at Utd for 2 years, being sent on loan to West Ham and becoming an “Irons” legend & getting an England Recall in the process!

It’s actually refreshing to do a GW review and not feel like I have osmosed in to the soul of Victor Meldrew by constantly moaning about our beautiful game. This gameweek was hardly beautiful but at least we didn’t have 11 wrong VAR decisions and a 11 series podcast trying to reexplain the offside, handball and diving rules of modern football.

Like me, I’d imagine that many of your were ruing having used that Free Hit Chip weeks ago or wish they had “one last wildcard”? Looking at the scores however, I’m kind of glad I didn’t have a free hit though as I certainly wouldn’t have selected some of the “big hitters” this week with the likes of Trossard (£5.8M) being king of the week with 14 points and team-mate Veltman (£4.4M) with 10 points as Brighton stuffed three past a forlorn looking Newcastle. Is Bruce next for the chop!? Fridays game saw Leeds take the spoils with a 2-1 win over Fulham. Internationally snubbed and Cap-less Bamford scored 11 points with a goal and an assist – showing the England selectors what they could be missing (whilst rookie call up Watkins blanked against Spurs). Raphinha with 8 points gave us a reminder of his class and Lucas Moura (£6.6M) with 9 points seemed to be more in favour than Welsh Golfing Sensation Gareth Bale.. who was way below Par and didn’t even feature (to the disappointment of thousands of ffukers-including me!). Young Joe Rodon for Spurs was the second highest scoring defender with 8 points this week – is he one to keep an eye on at just £5M!? “Shirley” his selection for the next game is nailed on!?

Game of the game week was definitely the London Derby. West Ham proving doubters “right” and showing that they don’t perhaps have the “Iron” to finish top 4. Will they end up going all “Spursy” in the finale of the season…and miss out on Europe altogether? Arsenal with the comeback of the season so far with Lacazette (£8.2M) in his best form and return for the gunners (could he be essential for the next game week against the inexperienced Liverpool centre backs?) Talking of essential who isn’t transferring in Jesse Lingard who is now also in contention for signing of the season!? I’m certainly putting him in for the next game (Wolves Away) as you simply can’t pin him down.

High Scoring team of the week

This weeks high flyers were Mark Jackson with a super 91 points making great use of his free hit chip and Jesse as Captain (24 points), thats some achievement with just 4 matches played Sir! Mark however, misses out on Manager of the month as Trevor Dennison equalled the tally of 219 but takes the prize on overall rank! Well done Trevor!

Low Scoring team of the week…

Spare a thought for my mate Andy Green (season ticket holder at Spurs) who went all “Spursy” with his team amassing just 1 point for the GW…yes, that’s 1 point #COYS Andy doesn’t qualify for the #justmyffuckingluck prize as you need 11 players to feature – but perhaps this may serve as a reminder to submit your entry if not already done so!

Top 20 FFUK

Its good old Steve “Statto” Cronin at the top of the charts this week (1980 points) with fellow Chelsea fan Chris Galloway just two points behind on 1978. Third place is Daron Russell with 1963 and Sean “Shaggy” Colohan (Coolers) just behind in fourth with 1952. Its tight at the top and cleary a long way to go, I believe the mind games have already started…


This week we say goodbye to Stu Newton who leaves with his tail between his legs scoring just 15 points. What a way to go Stu, but remember – you can be a CONT next year too!

Look out for a cupdate from Bakes soon and make sure you tune in on Friday for the draw for the FFUK Cup plus an episode of FFUK Room 101.

So, without putting too much of a dampner to a “positive” review – it is now the international break – Queue the Whatsapp quizzes from Duncan Hannigan as we count down the days before GW30 – where “real” football is played.

Thanks for your time FFukers and “stay classy San Diego!”


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