GW20 REVIEW – BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

Hello FFUKERS,

Welcome to my write up for Game week 20, another DGW but this time with the lure of triple captaining the league’s top scorer Haaland. If anyone could deliver the Best Day of My Life, shirley it would be the league’s best team over the last 5 season and the league’s only world class striker (ahem!).

I had a dream so big and loud
I jumped so high, I touched the clouds
Wo-o-o-o-o-o-oh (wo-o-o-o-o-o-oh)

But before activating the Triple Captain button, who else noticed the GW deadline was Friday 13^th? That’s a punchy day to make such a bold play, whether you believe in superstitions or not. I’m no John Terry so don’t have 50 superstitions, plus your wife’s are safe in my company, but I decided to hold fire unlike the 29 FFUKERS who did TC the Norwegian Meat Shield. Blanking in the first fixture and with City looking off the pace in the 2^nd, his only goal of the DGW scored HAALAND 8pts – so 24pts for your TC. For everyone retaining their TC chip you could hear a huge sigh of relief as the final whistle went –one of the Best Day Of My (FFUK) Life . 

So to the matches. Villa played Leeds in the opening fixtures of the GW, winning 2-1 with BAILEY (12pts) providing an assist for the 1st goal before scoring the 2^nd.  A dreamy start for the 4.1% of FPL, including 2 of our esteemed FFUKers JAMES DOWNIE and JDS, that kept the faith.

The dreams continued to be big and loud as the action continued the next day. Man Utd painted the streets of Manchester and Surrey Red defeating their noisy neighbours 2-1.

I’m never gonna look back, whoa
I’m never gonna give it up, no

Please don’t wake me now

Said no Man City defender as they failed to spot FERNANDES running from an onside position to score the first, before RASHFORD scored a quick 2^nd goal to wipe out the opening strike from GREALISH.

Elsewhere Brighton destroyed Liverpool 3-0, March (19pts) the pick of the bunch but FFUKERs should keep a close eye on MITOMA (6pts), 2 goals and an assist in his last 3 games! But it was at the bottom of the league where the main action took place Saturday afternoon.

Southampton condemned Everton to another home defeat, coming from behind to win 2-1 to help their fans dream loud and big of Premier League survival. James Ward-Prowse (15pts) yet again their messiah with 2 goals and anther player seemingly overlooked by FFUKERS.

Nottingham Forest beat Leicester 2-0, with 2 Goals from JOHNSON (12pts) assisted twice by GIBBS-WHITE (10pts), whilst his former team Wolves beat West Ham 1-0 with PODENCE scoring his 2^nd goal in successive matches.

And to wrap up Saturday, Brentford beat Bournemouth 2-0 with TONEY (9pts) scoring again but being outscored in the GW by JENSEN (10pts), to move upto 8^th in the league ahead of Liverpool and Chelsea! I checked with someone who’d put a bet on this happening what the odds were, They’re Gr-r-reat! is what he said.

We move to Sunday, where Potter’s Chelsea finally conjured a 1-0 win over Crystal Palace aided by the magic of Kai Havertz (6pts). More notable was Chelsea trolling FFUKERS by keeping a clean sheet at last – KEPA (10pts) the standout.

MITROBITCH (0PTS) definitely didn’t have the Best Day Of His Life vs Newcastle, nor did any of his owners. Many of us would have Howled At The Moon With Friends as the penalty was awarded, And Then The Sun Came Crashing In as we witnessed one of the strangest penalties ever. At least Newcastle retained their clean sheet, with TRIPPIER (9pts) again securing all 3 bonus points. A saving grace for many was POPE (5PTS) not being awarded the penalty save points.

With Manchester turning red the day before, could Arsenal turn North London red on Sunday? Like FFUK we could. Spurs did their usual and failed to show up for a half of football. Arsenal took full advantage, aided and abetted by LLORIS (0pts). ODEGAARD (9pts) and SAKA (6pts) continued their fine form to help Arsenal take a 2-0 half time lead. Spurs came out playing better 2^nd half but Arsenal soaked up the pressure to take the honours with MOTM RAMSDALE scoring 11pts. St Totteringham’s Day is getting closer…

Wednesday saw Palace entertain Man Utd at Selhurst Park. With Palace’s record against the Top 6 abysmal, many would have been expecting an easy victory. BRUNO (19pts) delivered a knock-out punch at the end of the 1^st half, to give Utd a 1-0 lead and all his FFUK owners immense satisfaction. With VAR deciding to keep quiet – Please don’t wake me now – Utd were denied a stonewall penalty, before conceding in the 91^st minute a stunning freekick from OLISE (9pts) to make it finish 1-1.

The final match of the gameweek was City vs Spurs. KULUSEVSKI (11pts) showed Spurs fans what they have been missing. A genuine contender for our team perhaps? KANE (7pts) showed again the added benefits of being the England Captain, being awarded the assist for their 2^nd goal when SAKA was denied his assist in similar circumstances the previous Sunday. But let’s not digress, I’ll focus on the best part of the game for neutral/arsenal fans everywhere, when Spurs came out 2^nd half and were extremely Spursy. 3 goals in 12 minutes and a  4^th scored at the end, gave City a 4-2 win. 2 goals and an assist for MAHREZ (19pts) – an inspired transfer for the 144,474 managers who bought him in!

So at the half way point, the title race is wide open (don’t say what you’re about to say Chris Galloway!) and it’s difficult to identify which teams are destined for the drop. With only 10pts separating 11^th (Villa) from 20^th (Southampton), any number of permutations for the bottom 3 could pan out. But for the fans of the teams that won this GW, for the FFUKERS who picked the right captain and the 6 who TC Rashford, for now we could celebrate the Best Day Of My Life.

But all the possibilities
No limits, just epiphanies
Wo-o-o-o-o-o-oh (wo-o-o-o-o-o-oh)

John Harper’s JESUS NAILED ON (1st) remains in pole position on 1275pts, but making moves are Rob Pitt’s OB1 KENOBI NIL going from 8^th to joint 2^nd with Kevin O’Reilly’s MEN IN SHORTS, 11pts behind. Gate crashing the Top 20, and deserving of a big well done, is Nitin Patel’s DON’T WORRY, BE GABI moving up from 53^rd in the league to 20th!

Manager of the Week – Ali Scott-Sheppard (142nd) scored a whopping 109pts. Going against the tide and captaining BRUNO was inspired!

Biggest mover – Neil Goodwin’s LET’S GO JERICHO (98th) moving up 54 places to gate crash the Top 100!

I’m never gonna give it up, no

Please don’t wake me now

Unfortunately Philip Redgrave, you do need to give it up. Going into the final game requiring a miracle from AKANJI (2pts) meant CONTS was pretty much decided before kick-off. So it’s time to wake up Phil and focus on the league. Good bye.

And with that, we’re less than 24 hours from the next deadline. I can’t wait to make my transfers and set my team, because for those few minutes after deadline is when I’m most content. My team is brilliant. My captain pick will smash it. But even when it starts to go wrong…I’m never gonna give it up, no

Good luck to one and all.

James Simpson – Southcoast Gunners (112th)