“God save the queen king
‘Cause tourists are money
And our figurehead
Is not what she he seems”

With the news and plans about the coronation weekend leaking out over the last month or so, the excitement of knowing we were going to be witnesses to a historic occasion grew as we came closer to Saturday 6th May.

And the day itself didn’t disappoint. The Premier League 3pm ‘blackout rule’ rescinded to allow the 3pm City match to be broadcast. Historic.

But the history gods didn’t stop there, oh no.

After 16 games without a win as a top flight manager, Fat Frank finally secured 3 points as Chelsea beat Bournemouth 3-1. This gives him a 5.88% win ratio in 17 games managing teams in Royal Blue. Regal.

Elsewhere on Saturday, despite much speculation and rumours fuelled by ITKs on Twitter, The Ginger Prince (3) did make an appearance on Saturday but disappointed his avid fans by blanking vs Leeds. Whilst at shite hart lane, fans cried “God for Harry, England, and Saint George Daniel!’ as KANE (8) scored yet again to help Spurs limp to a 1-0 victory over Palace.

The crown slipped from the head of the pretender to the throne of manager of the season (EMERY), with Villa losing 1-0 to Wolves in the other 3pm. Before eyes and ears were drawn to Liverpool where in true Eurovision fashion, the UK national anthem scored nul points (0) and was roundly booed. And good King SALAH (10) scored the only goal of the match.

With the sun shining, Sunday saw much of the UK celebrate street parties – the one I went to was lovely, with FFUKER Dan Humby (115th) impressing many with his culinary skills. Arsenal fans partied hard on the streets of Newcastle having watched their team keep the pressure on City with a 2-0 win. ODEGAARD (10) the star again for Arsenal. Whilst West Ham hammered a nail in the coffin of Man United’s Top 4 hopes with a 1-0 win thanks to BENRAHMA (11).

The majestic weekend of football came to a conclusion on Bank Holiday Monday, and we were royally spoilt – 21 goals across 3 matches.

King Richard III would have been turning in his grave wondering what has happened to his beloved Leicester. Losing 5-3 to Fulham, ‘Shirley’ they’re in severe danger of relegation. A Knighthood to anyone who had WILLIAN (15), CAIRNEY (14) and VINICIUS (9).

Having beaten Wolves 6-0 at Man Utd 1-0 at home in the previous 2 GWs, we all watched expectantly to see points galore rack up from our treble Brighton picks. Straight to the Tower for  STEELE (-2), DUNK (-1), ESTUPINAN (0) and MARCH (1) and well done again to anyone brave enough to pick any Everton players. MCNEIL (21) and DOUCOURE (13) top scoring in their 5-1 victory.

In the final match JWP (13) top scored but saw his team all but be relegated losing 4-3 to Forest, with AWONIYI (12) scoring 2 goals.


As the Team of the Week shows, this was the week of the differentials. 144pts scored by a squad costing £57.8m!

RAMSDALE (10) and VVD (11) the only notable players with ownership into double % figures.


DANNY NURSE (189th) top scored with 61pts in what overall was a low scoring week for many – AVERAGE scoring 39pts!

Not much change at the Top of FFUK. JOHN HARPER (1st) extended his lead at the top from 39pts to 48pts.

While in the CONTS, STEVE CRONIN lost his head and was unable to claim the title KING CONT back for his family. 10th in the main FFUK league, Steve can now focus on a top 5 place.

Only 3 challengers remain – good luck to FRANKIE WATSON, ADAM ALOOF and DONALD MACAULAY.

Here is the quarter final lineup for the FFUK FPL Cup

Still much to play for, good luck to everyone for DGW36 and beyond.

James Simpson – Southcoast Gunners (104th)

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