Phil Jones slumped down into his sofa. It had been a long, hard day.

Oversleeping through his alarm clock. Cracking his wing mirror as he rushed to Carrington. Nearly missing the team coach.

Jose had scowled at him. He scowled at everyone, but this morning he’d been particularly surly.

‘Better put in a good shift down at Spurs’, Phil thought. ‘Better put in a good shift….’

He closed his eyes and shuddered. How could it have gone so wrong?


Of course, GW25 wasn’t just about Phil’s misfortune (although more of that to come).

For this guest reviewer at least, it was largely overshadowed by Transfer Deadline Day.

Who in their right mind schedules games at the same time?

It’s hard enough keeping track of all the action without also having to spare a thought for poor Riyad Mahrez (AWOL), refusing to come out of the training ground toilet unless a certain oil-rich Sheik took him by the hand.

Yep, with all the transfer excitement going down, it was easy to forget the small matter of the midweek FPL games. So let’s refresh our memories.

Tuesday’s highlight was probably Swansea continuing their fine resurgence by beating Arsenal 3-1. Sam Clucas (15) netting a double. And a howler from Petr Cech (1) gifting Jordan Ayew (8) the other. Unlucky.

Er, you might want to try playing with your eyes open?

Wednesday night had it all. Bournemouth humbling Chelsea 3-0 at Stamford Bridge. Callum Wilson (12), Junior Stanislas (12) and Nathan Ake (14), sharing the goals, assists and a clean sheet.

The forever young (in looks at least) Theo Walcott’s (15) two goals ensured Everton beat Leicester. And Man City did what Man City do, comfortably seeing off Wild West Brom.

But the big event was Spurs’ confident 2-0 victory over a strangely poor Man United. Christian Eriksen (10) took just 11 seconds to score the first, before poor old Phil Jones (-2) had his ‘mare, producing a fine finish into the roof of his own net. To compound his evening he then got booked. Normally ever-reliable, the Bonus King had become the Minus King. Never mind, Phil. It could happen to anyone!

Tottenham Hotspur v Manchester United - Premier League
Pre-op conjoined footballers


So, after all that let’s see how the top of the FFUK table is shaping up:



Still leading the pack is the relentless Jamie Stewart (1st) who has now extended his lead over Dan McBrearty (2nd) to 20 points. Can anyone stop Jamie? It looks increasingly unlikely. My side bet of £20 is done and dusted, that’s for sure!

Elsewhere in the upper echelons, fellow Ripper Phil Smith (6th) used his WC to good effect. That man Theo helping him clock up 66 big ones.

Yes! Got served without ID!

And there were big scores for Jordan Davison (40th) with 73 points, Alaistair McNeil (72nd) with 76 points, and a familiar name, Nick Johns (23rd) also with 76 points. Last year’s Champion has gone largely under the radar this season, but Nick is now looking poised for tilt at the top. Ominous.

But, impressive as they were, they weren’t the highest in the league. No, that accolade goes to Andy Hall (101st). Andy’s 81 points largely came from Captain Sterling (10 x 2), Wilson (12), Pope (11), Firmino (8), Salah (8), Gomez (6) and Monreal (6). Well played, sir.

FACT: The FFUK average score was very nearly 52 this week (51.96, decimal place fans). That’s 5 points above the overall FPL average of 47.


So, who were the biggest risers and fallers in the FFUK league this week? Let’s find out…

hero to zero

3 UP, 3 DOWN


These guys weren’t unlucky. They made their own luck. (Maybe one bought some lucky heather.)

  • Josh Kelly (108th) rose 26 places with 78 points!
  • Jamie Shuell (148th) rose 21 places with 77 points!
  • Greg Ferkin (42nd) rose 21 places with 79 points!



These guys stepped on all the cracks in the pavement. Unlucky, fellas…

  • Ben Hudson (107th) fell 21 places with 32 points
  • Gregg Dampier (159th) fell 21 places with 30 points
  • Michael Colohan (113th) fell 16 places with 29 points


Eviction notice

So, week by week, the Conts mini league is getting tighter. So who’s been squeeeeezed out this week?

Unfortunately Grant Lawrie (75th) had a Phil Jones-esque day at the office. With 36 points he was five points behind the next highest, Daz (37th) with 41, so Grant will be leaving The Conts with immediate effect.

Interestingly, the other 12 players all scored between 50 and 66. It’s really starting to tighten up in there!



So, that’s it from GW25. Thanks for reading these words. The great thing about midweek games is it’s only a matter of hours before we do it all again!

Matt Reid




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