Thanks to our very own James Page-Chatton (33rd) for the tune of the week suggestion. An inspired choice and definite classic for hip hop fans. If you have a suggestion in future let us know.  Not sure if it was simply because it was GW3, perhaps it was 3 goals scored against the enemy Man Utd at Old Trafford, maybe Jose’s 3 titles rant after the game, or another 3 points for his beloved Liverpool or a combination of these that gave him the idea but whatever it was we are all grateful.

I missed a lot of the action over the weekend unfortunately but have now caught up with the highlights and was able to watch the Monday night game which always rounds off a fantasy weekend. Despite not owning any of the players on show it is always entertaining to see both Man Utd and their fans in the various stages of meltdown. The WhatsApp Liverpool contingent seemed more keen to air their opinions on it all than the Utd fans were but most agree Jose is acting and sounding like he is on borrowed time.

More importantly let’s first check out the GW3 Dream Team to see where most of the points could be found over the weekend.


Screenshot 2018-08-29 at 2.30.19 PM


Top points scorer for the week comes from the big man Mitrovic (16) now at Fulham after a brace, assist and of course max bonus. He has had a fantastic 2018 and his Newcastle woes look well behind him. He also looks like he is in a team that will attack unlike Rafa’s. Yet a fiendishly difficult fixture in GW5 may just deter new owners for a couple of weeks as we assess if he can continue with this form. 11.3% are already convinced and have reserved a spot for him in their forward lines.




Elsewhere other Fulham players did well as they smashed Burnley 4-2. Seri (9) and Vietto (9) were the best of the rest and offer alternatives if you don’t fancy the big lump up front.

Spurs were the other big performers after their dominant victory over Utd on MNF. It was a slow start but in the end Tottenham’s class showed through. I was left thinking how many of these Utd players would get in the Spurs first team and only DDG and maybe Pogba would get anywhere near at the moment. How times change!

Kane (10), with a goal, assist and bonus, now loves scoring in August and it wont be long before we are all clamouring to bring him in and identifying the uber cheap players to allow this move. Lucas Moura (15) outshone his captain by scoring a brace and max bonus and looks an intriguing prospect at 7.1 if he can nail down a place in that midfield, I do expect Poch’s adopted son, Lamela and Heung Min Son, when he returns, to impact on the Brazilian’s gametime. At the back Trippier (11) did what he does with a clean sheet and an assist plus bonus meaning he was the best scoring defender with Chelsea’s Alonso (11). 

How many of the Dream Team did you own? If it makes you feel any better I owned none of them!

Captaincy wise you can see from Statto Steve’s super image below, Mo Salah was back on top of the picks with 116 of you pinning your hopes on Liverpool’s Egyptian superstar. Those who went with Aguero or Mane were left wondering what might have been. We can also see that 26 Wildcards were wielded and I expect that number to increase again next week as the picture becomes clearer now most of the World Cup players have returned and are up to speed.


Moving swiftly on, it is time now to dissect Page 1 of the FFUK league table:

Screenshot 2018-08-29 at 2.47.12 PM

Screenshot 2018-08-29 at 2.47.23 PM


We have a new leader – Congratulations to Lawrence Sprigings (1st) after a solid if unspectacular 57 points scored. His captain Aguero (4) didn’t do him any favours but he had the big man Mitrovic (16) to make up for that. In fact his other forward King (9) also outscored his premium pick. Further back Salah (8) and Robertson (9) came through for him but the Richarlison (-2) red card must have stung a bit. Still we would all swap places with Lawrence right now!

Former league winner Allan Tomkins (8th) was best scorer in the top 10 with 64 points accrued. Allan captained Salah (16) with points from King (9), Alonso (11) and Robertson (9) all helping him along.


However top scorer this week was Tommy Page-Chatton (43rd) who scored an incredible 86 points. Tommy is one of our junior FFUKers (age 12) but on this week’s showing he certainly looks like he belongs at the top table. Captain Salah (16) worked fine but then his team really came into its own of course TPC owned Mitrovic (16) but it didn’t end there. His defence of Robertson (9), VVD (8) and Alonso (11) smashed it and in midfield he is one step ahead of most of us already with Lucas Moura (15) on board. He didn’t even need the 20 points on his bench. Well played Tommy! We will be keeping an eye on your progress as the season develops but it looks like you know exactly what you are doing already and could in fact give some of the less fortunate FFUKers a few tips!

At the other end of the scale Stuart Newton (5th) was the lowest in the upper echelons with just 39 points managed despite captain Salah (16) but only had Arnie (5) and Zaha (5) who registered any returns. Chin up Stuart, not long until we go again. Form is temporary and class is permanent etc.

Watch out for Pete’s Stat Flash this week with more high scores, plus the biggest risers and fallers and other stunning stats – not to be missed!


warning double eviction


It is time once again for another brutal Double Eviction!

Whenever there is MNF the eviction scenario becomes a little clearer and in fact Statto Steve informed the WhatsApp group of exactly the danger score. If you had scored 38 or more you were safe. Relief for many of us but no such luck for the lowest scorers. Several big names including Coolers, Coxey, Yabah and Phil Smith were nervously watching Monday evening’s game with a keener eye than most.

In the end Phil Smith couldnt survive with a score of 29, at least his team name (dierbolical) was appropriate. Joining him is Yabah Turnbull who could only muster a point more than Phil and was praying for a Pogba miracle. It must have been doubly painful for Yabah as a United Fan. You have both been removed from the CONTS mini league and can concentrate on the league, dont worry Cup Qualification starts soon. Alex Kassner ensured survival for another week at least with his score of 33 points. Who will go next time? 46 remain and there will be another Double Eviction next time round!


We are still finalising payments and entry fees. I haven’t been able to do much admin recently but should be back to normal soon. The moment we have our final total I will announce prize money. If you are one of those that we are still waiting for payment from then please send it over ASAP as we will be removing all non-payers very soon.

We have a brand new LAST FFUKER STANDING competition starting this weekend. Entry costs £5 and all the info including the rules can be found on the post! This is a great little side game which take no time at all to enter and play. At the time of writing there are just 8 FFUKers involved. Join us.

If you missed the news last week we are entering a FFUK team (or 2) in a special Sports and Music Quiz for charity at Shaftesbury FC. All the details are in the flyer below, please let us know if you can join us. Pete and I are very much looking forward to meeting as many of you as possible and it is all for a great cause.

Thanks for reading as always. GW4 provides us with the opportunity to go again before we suffer the boredom of an international break, we will hopefully have some content during which to keep you entertained with a video and articles in the pipeline! Get in touch if you fancy helping us with anything, we have loads of ideas if you need inspiration 😉







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