GW30 – AHA!

That was the gameweek that was GW30.

For me, the gameweek finished with a phttt.That’s the sound of a disappointing wet fart.

After starting well came Sunday, Bloody Sunday, wiping out any gains I’d made the day before, and pretty frustrating. So, I was reminded of my mate Alan’s reference to no one’s favourite submarine band, U2, and their song which in his words, really captures the frustration of a Sunday. That is, Sunday Bloody Sunday.

Of course, as we all know, that particular song is actually about a massacre in Ireland in 1972 so I thought it may send out the wrong message. Instead, here’s everyone’s favourite Norwegians, A-ha.

Aha! Yes a few of you may have detected a bit of a theme here and yes it’s true, you may have felt more than a rub of a certain Mr Partridge while reading. Don’t brush that hand away, you’re quite all right. I decided to make this GW review a bit of a homage, a homage to Partridge, a homrage if you will, or how about a Partage?

Many of you will have been following my team closely this weekend after I bounced back a couple of months ago. It’s been a while since I sat in my pants covered in curry and chocolate. The gameweek started well with my Rashford to Vardy hit resulting in a couple of goals and an ass (assist). Fraser also did what Daddy told him to in producing another goal for me, and another ass (assist)! Back of the net. Cheap hero Harvey Barnes finally dished out some points for me too with a nice little ass (assist). Cashback.

Leicester City v Derby County: Premier League 2

Anyway, it’s not really fair to just talk about my team so as a contrast let’s focus in on some of those less fortunate than I.

If it was pre-2000 I might have said that Dean Collins (27th) is this week’s big girl’s blouse but as I’m a post-feminist I’ll instead suggest that Dean is this week’s extra large, non-gender specific and ungainly article. Yes Dean managed to achieve an awful score this week, 25 points meant that he dropped from 15th to 27th in the league. Not that I want to rub it in but that’s pretty damaging. 9 of Dean’s players scored just 2 points or less and a bad decision by Dean meant Jiminez was left on the bench. Some might say unlucky, I say learn from it Deano.

Now let’s have a look at the Top 50 (I’m 23rd).



That was the Top 50.

Now let’s have a look at the Top Ten.

There were no changes in the Top 4 but Sean Colohan (5th) and Neill Goodwin (6th) continued their ascent as Lawrence Springings (7th) continues to fade from view. I’ve been there Sprigings, actually it was my best ever finish, so take heart.

There were some cracking scores in the Top 50 indeed. Dan McBrearty (19th) is this week’s 1-2-WATCH with a big fat 86 but even that was bettered a few places up. James Amar (10th) and Vinnie Siracusa (9th) entered the prize places with 90+ scores in a very mixed week. A good time for a good score for sure.

High score this week was Tom Newman (55th) with 100, an exemplary score to be commended.


Now for the Conts as it’s time to say goodbye to another little ffuker. Don’t be sad Theo, as I have some advice for you.


When I used to play cub football on a Sunday my manager used to say to me, “try, try and try again”. That’s stayed with me, I’m nearly 40, still rubbish at football, and still play week in week out. Better luck next year Theo.

Next week is the last DOUBLE EVICTION of the season when 2 FFUKers will be evicted. We go into GW31 with blank fixtures, chips being played and after that, just 7 will be left in the league with just 7 gameweeks left! We’re set for an exciting finale.

Anyway that’s it from me you bloody mentalists.



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