Good morning FFUKers, I’m your substitute GW Reviewer and today we’re mostly going to be talking about what we want to get out of an FFUK season.

You over there, Liverpool have won the Premier League for the first time ever, do you still care about FFUK?

Liverpool fan: to be honest, it doesn’t really matter if I care or not, Liverpool have won the league and I will bang on about it forever whatever happens in FFUK.

You over there, what’s your name? My name’s Grant Lawrie (1st).

And what does the season mean to you Grant?

If I win it I’ll do a power slide on my knees.

And you there, bald guy, beard, Man United top? What’s your name?

My name’s Daz Russell (38th). And I want to be a motherFFUKing Hustla!

Yes FFUKers this review is for the Gz, and it is for the Hustlaz. It is for Jamie Stewart (3rd), for Paul Baker (2nd), and for Grant Lawrie (1st). It is for John Parkinson (4th – 60 points), who was gutted with his Bruno triple captain last night.

It is for Donald Macaulay (88th – 93 points) who top scored this gameweek off the back of his bench boost, and another bench booster, Chris Galloway (61st – 82 pts) who is ruing his Aubayameyang captain.

Trevor Dennison (89th – 90 points) rose 26 places in the league this gw off the back of an excellent gw score, and likewise, Rob Latuske (152nd – 90 pts), has a great week.

Playing for the FFUK Cup title, John Willson (46th) earned 72 points off the back of his Bench Boost, and his opponent Jamie Stephens (5th) earned 74 points despite a failed Bruno caption.

Indeed Jamie was among 60 FFUK Bruno captain fails including seven very unhappy Triple Captainers this morning, while Liam White (141st) scored a decent 83 points with his Kane TC.

Kane – scary or confused gimpy?

Let’s have a look at the team of the week.

For those FFUKers still holding TAA (13) last night was a night of mixed fortunes, with United underperforming before Liverpool collected their PL trophy following a crazy scoreline of 5-3 leaving Chelsea with United who drew and Leicester who lost, on a knife-edge ahead of Sunday’s fight for those precious 3rd and 4th spots.

Mr Sterling (17) again came up with the goods for many happy owners, and Kane (13) as I said, is showing some signs of his old self. Anyone inspired enough to have played Pieters (12) will certainly be very pleased with his work too.

And so to the league.

There are a couple of names I just can’t get past, starting at the top with Grant Lawrie (1st). For me, his choice of Sterling as captain looked ballsy at the start of the GW, with an FA Cup semi final vs Arsenal to come on the Saturday, before Pep starts playing roulette, and no guarantee of Raheem being on the teamsheet v Watford. Our league leader was one of 12 FFUKers to go for the Sterling captain, which might strike as a move for those chasing a lead, rather than protecting it. However, that double risk becomes double reward if it pays off, especially while the safe choice Bruno, failed miserably with just 1 point following a yellow card.

Grant extends his lead at the top to 35 points going into the final gameweek, he’s also 24 points clear at the top of the FFUK MOTM for July, oh and I almost forgot, he also joint top-scored this week on 93 points. That is title winning form. Wanna know more? He’s still got Triple Captain to play in GW38+ too.

The next player my binoculars are on this week is FFUK OG Jamie Stewart (3rd) who had a steady score of 63 points this gameweek. Mavericks aside, consistency almost always wins out in FFUK, and it certainly does in the Conts League.

For those that don’t follow The Conts, this is a separate FFUK League which runs as a Last man Standing competition. This season, with 50 players, the prize pot sits at £200 with that tidy prize going to 1 player – The King Cont – the only player left after GW37+.

Daron Russell (38th) ensured he made the final by not being the lowest score in the Conts week on week for 37 gameweeks. In GW30+, Daz utilised the unlimited transfers, and Bench Boosted for 117 points. Daz then wildcarded GW31, before a -4 in GW32. A points hit of -8 GW33 followed before Daz really began turning up the heat.

In GW34 Daz triple captained for a healthy 92 score following hits of -12, and then he unleashed his Free Hit in GW35. Now I have to mention that Daz was sitting on an overall rank of 38k at this point and was 9th in the FFUK League but that seems a long time ago now. In GW36 went all out as Roni Friel (36th) dropped out vs Daz’s -20 freestyling,

And in GW37? Points hits of -40 for Daz. And alas. Well, here’s a song for you Daz.

That Rolling Stone live video is absolutely super by the way, music fans.

And that leads me to the pleasure of announcing this year’s winner of the Conts League, Mr Jamie Stewart! Well done Jamie, another season of FFUKing success for you! You are a true inspiration.

Well what can I say FFUKers, it’s been a rollercoaster like no other, a completely unprecedented season with like a 3 month stop near the end, and the last 9 gameweeks played out with no fans.

There are winners and losers, gz and hustlaz, but ultimately, it’s bloody good fun right! See you on the other side FFUKers.

Best of luck for GW38+ everyone, with relegation places and Top 4 still undecided its guaranteed to be a bonkers gameweek to top of this crazy season.


Pete C (8th)

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