Welcome to the



A Song For Pep

You’re breakin’ my heart
You’re tearing it apart so FFUK you

All I want to do is have a good time, with your blues
You drop Canceloo
You look to the sky, in your gif of two, ooh
You’re breakin’ my heart
You’re tearing it apart but FFUK you

You’re breakin’ my heart
You’re tearing it apart, boo-hoo

You left out John Stones
You’ve left out my Sterling too
You won’t play Mahrez
But you still pick Dias
I’ve had enough of you, ooh
I’m goin’ insane
There’s no one to blame so FFUK you

You ffuuked off Sane
What Can I say?

He had enough of you, ooh
You’re breakin’ my heart
You’re tearing it apart so FFUK you

You gotta rotate
There’s nobody safe

There’s no one sacred to you, ooh

You’re breaking my heart, you’re tearing it apart, I hate you

A Weekend in the Life of an FPL Manager

Right, now that that’s out of my system let me explain. It’s Saturday lunch time and anyone unlucky enough to be watching Everton is being treated to the usual dross. Those of us smart enough to avoid it are getting our chores taken care of before settling in for an afternoon of football. All is well in the world. Clock is ticking towards 2pm team news and time for a quick cup of tea. 1.53pm:

Roly Howard oversaw a record 1, 975 games during his non-league coaching career and is said to have smashed so many teacups his players had to walk in on tip toes. Mine was lucky to survive this. Could be worse mind, seven unlucky FFUKers had Cancelo (0), Sterling (0) and Dias (0) so two out of three ain’t bad.

How many of my players did you drop, Pep?

2pm. Confirmed.

2.01pm Wilson Scores.

2.21 Wilson Scores again.

It’s not even 3 pm Saturday and it’s looking like being a long weekend for many FFukers. For my part I’ve brought in DCL (2) and Stones (0) whilst already owning Cancelo (0) and being too cheap to buy Dias (8). Tom Newman (64) went -8 to bring in Cancelo (0) and had Wilson (13) second sub. Jake Walker (101) took a – 4 for DCL (2) and made him vice captain to Cancelo (0). Ouch.

There’s no coming back from this is there? Surely?

Don’t Call This A Comeback

But wait, what’s this? Could Pep have been doing us a favour all along? Is 3pm on a Saturday too early to give up on a gw? Okay, there wasn’t a whole lot to get excited about for the rest of the afternoon with the highly captained Gundogan (3) failing to deliver but at least Pep had the good grace to leave our benched players on the bench. The 5.6m Pereira (13) at West Brom caught the eye along with the 5.8m Eze (13) at Palace. But it was the evening games that got the gw back on track for many. Okay Fernandes (3) failed to return again after the collective disappointment of GW20 but a 0-0 between Arsenal and United meant there were at least some clean sheet points to be had with the defenders taking all the bonus. Similarly at Southampton the Villa defenders hoovered up the bonus points, notably Cash (9) and Martinez (10).

And so things weren’t looking so bad after all. In fact “Pep’s droppings” (TM) meant bench points for Holding (8). In the words of Mancunian irritant Mick Hucknall “I’ll keep Holding on.”

The early kick off Sunday was another case for the defence with Azpi (15) and Alonso (14) rolling back the years. Dallas (7) added to his case to be called this years John Lundstram – minus the clean sheets of course. But this was the Patrick Bamford (15) show really and Leeds in general continue to be a goldmine for fpl points as well as a breath of fresh air to watch amidst some fairly humdrum games elsewhere.

The big story Sunday amidst a sea of captain blanks was the return of the Egyptian King Mo Salah (15). Having blanked in what for him is an unheard of six previous outings this was a a stylish return to form. His first strike was classic Mo (how many of those have we seen him miss in his barren run?) and the second is a contender for goal of the season and welcome relief to the 47 ffukers who captained him based on stats over form.

There was still time for Son (2) to disappoint owners hoping he could rescue a bad gw or put the cherry on top of a good one and with that a weekend of swings and roundabouts came to an end. So what have we learned? Pep is not to be trusted. A strong bench and a bit of luck are always important. It’s not over until it’s over. Wait, we knew all that already. So nothing really, just another weekend in Fantasy Football.


The big mover the week was Chris Galloway (2nd) who was top scorer with 94 and in the process took a large bite into Steve Cronin’s (1st) still impressive lead at the top. Darren Russel (3) is left ruing having Bamford on the bench. Plenty of jostling for position behind with Joseph Mulhern (9th) and Andrew Fogarty (17th) new entries into the top 20.

January Manager of the Month is Neil Goodwin (105th) with an impressive 409 points, 250 of which came from the classic Free Hit, Wildcard, Bench Boost combo gws 18-20 and a fourth place finish in gw21. Well played Neil.


This weeks unlucky Cont is Vince Siracusa (68th) with 42 points. It was a straight shoot out with Mr. Cups Paul Baker (88th) going into the final game. Bakes on top of being another victim of Pep droppings bravely played Areola (1) ahead of Martinez (10) leaving the door open and Vince just needed Son to do something, anything, but it was not to be and he was another left to rue leaving Bamford (15) on the bench. You’re better off out of it Vince, trust me, I’ve been saying this since gw1.

A bad week all around for Vince who also bowed out of the cup. Speaking of which…

FFUK CUP & Milk Plate

In case you missed it the draw for the next round of the cup took place last night. You can catch up here:

And you can find FFUK Cup info here and the Milk Plate info here


That’s all for now. Thanks for taking the time to read what is fast becoming old news with another deadline on the horizon at 4.30 pm today. In fact, stop reading this and go sort your team out.


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