Tense, Nervous, Headache?

Welcome to the gameweek 35 review. How is everyone doing? It’s a tense time for many fantasy managers as we are smack bang in the middle of a furious flurry of fixtures that will go a long way to deciding how and where we finish. After an eventful season the end is now in sight. As we edge towards the climax how is everyone set for the final trio of gameweeks? Before we go through it all there is just a little time to relieve that tension. Relax. Light a candle. We all need a sonic massage right now and who better to provide our soundtrack than 90’s electronic duo Lemon Jelly with their track “Nervous Tension”. Listening to the lyrics these two are clearly veterans of this game and understand the nuances and stresses of double gameweeks.

What lies ahead…

Pete has made up the very handy image above to show just how much football we are all in for. It is a glorious sight, and there is much to admire, but importantly we must ensure we keep our eyes firmly on the ball! But before all that let’s just return to what was a strange Saturday.

The tension, for many of us, wasn’t eased with this weekend’s action, and here’s how it all unfolded. It all started very slowly, nothing much happened. At all. There were clean sheets for Southampton and Hull. West Ham and Stoke did the same. Bournemouth, Leicester and Burnley also managed to win without conceding on a Saturday where there were only 4 goals in 5 games. Those who own defenders from these sides were satisfied but certainly not elated, as there was little to get excited about. Unless, that was, you owned a certain Hull goalkeeper who saved a penalty heroically, that along with the clean sheet and inevitable max bonus meant he was the joint top scoring player of the gameweek. Congratulations to those who played Edin Jakupovic (14). I, of course, took him out in my wildcard. Worse still there were plenty looking at the Hull stopper’s points sitting on the bench. Feel that? That’s the tension.


Jamie Vardy (9) continued to party getting the only goal in his game, and Josh King (11) continued his incredible form bagging the winner late on to the elation of his owners, in fact our own Peter Cronin (10th) went so far as to triple captain the Bournemouth front man in order to win his FFUK Cup semi final – more on this soon!

On Saturday night there was an air of uncertainty around the FFUK league. Clean sheets are all well and good but the money we have invested in our attacks means we are in no position to relax. There was at least the comfort blanket of those defensive points for those lucky enough to own the right defenders but the tension was indeed mounting. Rather than go over the Super Sunday games and Monday Night Football (I will get to that later if I have to) let’s skip straight to the juicy bit now and look at the FFUK league which for some reason all goes a bit wild west. Yee-hah?

Screenshot 2017-05-02 at 5.52.15 PM

Screenshot 2017-05-02 at 5.52.25 PM

Nick Johns (1st) continues to lead the pack after his 51 points this week but I guess he must be feeling the tension. His rival Sean Colohan (2nd) is closing in after scoring a mightily impressive 84 points, best score in the Top 10 and 2nd best in the league. Nicely timed Coolers! Nick’s lead is now down to 16 points. That is too close for comfort. These two outlaws are all set to battle it out over the next 3 gameweeks, and only one man can win the title. It is going to take something spectacular to overthrow that duo, but in this game you never know. For those that haven’t seen it yet check out Pete’s recent interview with Nick where he discusses his thoughts about the season and impending finale. We will definitely keep an eye on this duel… Who is your money on?

Behind the top two the rest of the Top 10 are right now posturing for position, there is plenty at stake not least prize money. For everyone else its all about finishing off well, whether that is getting into the Top 10 or getting to the Top 50 depending on your situation. Some of us just want it all to end. Some of us have even begun planning for next season. Not long now.


I wouldn’t say good, I would say FFUKING BRILLIANT, but there isn’t a film called the FFUKING Brilliant, the Bad and the Ugly (yet). Forgetting that, it’s a big round of applause for Kevin Trotter (44th) who top scored this gameweek with 85 points. What a time to make a run… Has Trotter left it too late? Maybe not if he has more weeks like this one just gone! Captain Aguero (12) x 2 was the best possible start, the rest of his attacking points came from Alli (8), Eriksen (6) and Hazard (5) but perhaps more notably it was his defence which was responsible for 37 points. His rearguard was led by Gary Cahill (14) who with a goal, clean sheet and max bonus was joint top scoring player for GW35 with the Hull keeper. Well played Kev!


Lets quickly look at the captaincy stats for GW35. The five most popular picks were Aguero (12) x 40, Kane (5) x 26, Lukaku (2) x 16, Costa (1) x 16 and Rashford (5) x 14. As you can see Sergio was the best pick by some distance. Congratulations to the forty heroes who went with the Argentinian.



Now is not the time to be putting in poor numbers. Phil Smith (7th) has chosen a bad moment to start under-performing. His score this week of 47 was just above average, but that is not good enough for the dizzy heights of the Top Ten, where you don’t hang around for long and reputations count for nothing. Gabbiadini (1) x 2 was a popular pick as 10 FFUKers also saw fit to hand him the armband, but they were all fuming when they found out the Saints forward was hauled off before the hour mark once again. Just ahead of a couple of enticing doubles too.


The Average score this week was 46 points, therefore if you were below this and on the first page of the leader-board, you should know by now that you may get a mention. This list is spread right through the Top 50, no one is safe. I’m sure many of you have been told that being just under average is no big problem. Whoever told you that is a liar. Not in this game. You can afford it once but if its gets to be a regular occurrence then it is a problem.


  1. Toby Jones (12th)
  2. Paul Austin (17th)
  3. Steven Almond (22nd)
  4. Mark Leatham (23rd)
  5. Alex Thomas (39th)
  6. Daron Russell (42nd)
  7. Josh Kelly (47th)
Watford v Liverpool - Premier League
WATFORD, ENGLAND – MAY 01: Philippe Coutinho of Liverpool goes down injured during the Premier League match between Watford and Liverpool at Vicarage Road on May 1, 2017 in Watford, England. (Photo by Dan Mullan/Getty Images)


I have left it until now as I didn’t want to taint the whole review. I’m sure if you read between the lines you can sense my frustration, which boiled over on Monday night watching Liverpool. Actually it was the latest in a long line of bad decisions I have made in the second half of this season. My wildcard was a bit of a disaster, but I had hope, it wasn’t much but I was clinging to it. Then it happened… I was one of the 8 FFUKers that gave the armband to Big Phil Coutinho (1) which meant a long wait for points. Phil was in red hot form and he was up against a Watford side who were already on their holidays. I sat down eager to watch the points roll in. It could have been a beautiful end to a bank holiday, but after just a couple of minutes he hurt his knee and trudged off, in the process ruining a perfectly pleasant weekend for 8 of us in particular. I now regard us as the Hateful Eight. FFUK you PHIL! It certainly makes it harder to get motivated at the end of the season when things like this happen, but we don’t throw the towel in, not in this league. We get back on that saddle. If I look on the leaderboard there are still people I can overtake, there are even a few I know well enough to text to let them know if I finish above them. This is what it’s all about. You’ve gotta fight for the right. No surrender. The Hateful Eight are detailed below, if you look closely some unfortunate souls appear for the second time in this review, probably best to avoid them in particular for the time being until this period of tension has passed.

hateful 8

  1. Mark Leatham (23rd)
  2. Robert Simpson (30th)
  3. Daron Russell (42nd)
  4. Myself (70th)
  5. Jamie Cooper (85th)
  6. Gary Dunbar (108th)
  7. Joe Traynor (120th)
  8. Robert Browne (177th)

So that is it for another gameweek. Thanks for reading as always, hopefully you aren’t too tense after all this. In terms of FFUK there is much, much more coming your way very soon! Keep your eyes peeled for a big old CUPDATE coming your way plus a couple of end of season treats. Pete will be taking the GW36 review as I am off to check in on my Bundesliga fantasy team, but I will be back to tell you all about 37. Oh and a little reminder that FNF (or Friday Night Football) is back this weekend so… Are you ready for the double double?

FAO Lester Deeble (8th)



As always if you want to get involved in the FFUK league further we would love to hear from you. We are already putting plans in place for next season’s league, but we are more than willing to take on new Agents, Contributors, Video guests or any other roles you can offer, no job too small. Just get in touch with myself or Pete.




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